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View Full Version : BATTLE OF THE SEXES!! funny


ProtekYoNutz
10-18-2005, 01:05 PM
I have never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....

:funny:

Tru2Chevy
10-18-2005, 01:10 PM
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

Something you forgot to mention Kells? Â* :lol:

- Justin

j0n
10-18-2005, 01:25 PM
AWESOME! well done kelly...and i too would like to hear about this girlfriend of yours

SteveR
10-18-2005, 01:29 PM
Yea, so expand on this g/f passion thing :P

12secondv6
10-18-2005, 02:06 PM
:shock: :whip: :w00t:

Tsar
10-18-2005, 02:14 PM
:rofl:

79dizZy28
10-18-2005, 02:37 PM
:lol: :kneeslap: :lol:

Firebird67dude
10-18-2005, 04:08 PM
:funny: thaTS SO FUNNY.

PBodyGT87
10-18-2005, 04:11 PM
took that from myspace, ey?

ProtekYoNutz
10-18-2005, 04:31 PM
took that from myspace, ey?

yes i did but i thought i would share it too....o and as for you ppl who think i have a gf :roll: ....NO i don't....im perfectly content with my man matt :kiss:

Tsar
10-18-2005, 05:44 PM
took that from myspace, ey?

yes i did but i thought i would share it too....o and as for you ppl who think i have a gf :roll: ....NO i don't....im perfectly content with my man matt Â*:kiss:its all good that u happy with him, but i dont think he'll mind if u get a gf :lol:

Savage_Messiah
10-18-2005, 06:22 PM
and who did you get that from? Â*:D

edit: oh.. liz... that's wierd I just got that (again)/reposted it last night

ProtekYoNutz
10-18-2005, 08:29 PM
took that from myspace, ey?

yes i did but i thought i would share it too....o and as for you ppl who think i have a gf :roll: ....NO i don't....im perfectly content with my man matt :kiss:its all good that u happy with him, but i dont think he'll mind if u get a gf :lol:

haha true

jims69camaro
10-19-2005, 06:30 AM
:funny: :nod: :lol: :rofl: :kneeslap: :laugh: :clap: