bad64chevelle
10-19-2005, 04:45 PM
Today Goofy (if you have been to the Grease Trucks is the 6'6" kid who drives a 2001 V6 Camaro in black) took me to his homeland of Egypt...no just kidding, his hometown in Allendale. Goofy seems like a tame, normal kid who enjoys his Camaro, but that is definitely NOT true. We drove to the turnpike all nice and calmly, but when he hit the major traffic congested NJTP he got this glazed look in his eye. His grip on the steering wheel got tighter and he rowed through that T-5 like it was his job (except for the time he downshifted to 2nd at 85 MPH). With me screaming at the top of my lungs for him to slow down he was boppin and weaving in and out of traffic passing 18 Wheelers and State 5-0 like they were standing still. As we got off the Turnpike and onto Rt.17 North the first thing he noticed was a 7-series BMW with two Fart Bazookas exiting under the bumper. The dude in the BMW looked over and Goofy downshifted chirping the tires in a fit of rage. It was ON! I assumed the position of holding onto the "Oh **** Bar" hoping that I could make it out alive. Well to my astonishment Goofy smoked the BMW and we never saw him again (or was it because he cut off the "Dump Man" and the BMW couldnt slide by) Finally after 53 minutes of agonizing terror we made it to the quiet town of Allendale. We hung out at Goofys house as he continued his road rage in a nice little match of Need For Speed: Hot Pursuit on PS2. His McLaren F1 LM in Tuxuedo Black reminded me of my terrifying ride in Goofy's Black Camaro V6. After a good hour or two it was time to return to good old Rutgers University in New Brunswick. The ride home was even worse. There was more traffic on the TPK and I think he thought the speed limit was 95 MPH. I turned my MP3 player on and blasted some relaxing music but that wouldnt keep my attention from the back of my head slamming into the passenger seats headrest and the side window, when Goofy decided to cut across three lanes at once. I once again resorted to asking other morotists for help but all they saw was this black blur speed by them at an excessive rate. As I counted down the exits it was quite a relief to see the sign for New Brunswick pop up. The only bad part was it said two miles. To Goofy this meant that he only had two miles to cut people off, slide between tractor trailers and under them on a few occasions. (No this was not Fast and the Furious! it was a new movie called "The Insane and Scared ****less!" While in the right lane two cars were in front of him and i thought some sense had been knocked into him when he said, "It's a no-go" when all of sudden he changes his mind and says, "Oh wait it is a go" After a few terrorizing seconds of downshifting and speeding it was all over and we had to take the exit. As soon as the sign said "GO EASY PASS!" It was like the starting line at Atco. Tires squeeling and a fool grabbing second gear trying to keep his car in a straight line. Once we got onto Rt. 18 I noticed there was this hispanic girl driving a CRX with a hispanic dude in the passenger seat. Goofy rolled down the window and screams (in a straight up Super Trooper style chant) "DO YOU BOYS LIKE MEXICO?!?!" [EDIT: That actually did not happen, I just added that cause I said it with the windows up] but what he did do was roll his window down in a fashion that looked like he was gonna say something to them, and when the window stopped he just reached out and cleaned his mirror with his fingers (Props to Jake for that cool trick!). Needless to say we made it back to the campus in one piece and alive. I will be going to the grease trucks tonight so if anyone wants any sort of evidence of this I have a picture of his speedometer at XXX mph and his tachometer at 3,xxx rpms.
The previous story was true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. All suspects are guilty until proven innocent in a court of law.
The previous story was true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. All suspects are guilty until proven innocent in a court of law.