View Full Version : Official Jacob is an Idiot Thread
qwikz28
10-22-2005, 01:37 AM
i'll go first:
Friday night, ain't stuff to do, hmmmm..... let's work on the rodeo! first stupid mistake. my driveway has an incline and the rodeo was reversed in at the top of the driveway with crapped out o2 sensors and maybe 10% pressure in the brakes. which one does jacob decide to attempt at fixing first? how about the o2 sensors? ok... lets just put the car on the ramps and get underneath it. stupid jacob just throws the ramps in front of the truck and attempts to drive up on the ramps...
for all you who have been paying attention will know why that is a problem. I HAVE ALMOST ZERO BRAKE PRESSURE! HOW THE HELL AM I GONNA STOP ONCE THE FRONT TIRES ARE ON TOP OF THE RAMPS? so the car rolls maybe half way up the ramps and stops, so i gently tap the throttle like i always do. the car jumps so fast on top of the ramps so i quickly jam on the brakes. well the front tires stop on top of the ramps as planned but the rears insist on rolling. so now my car is rolling down the driveway with the ramps sliding down the driveway and the brakes attempting to stop the rears but failing miserably. once the car reaches the end of the driveway, the ramps hit the lip of the driveway and stop, but the car doesnt. my car rolled off the ramps and the ramps wedged between the body and the side steps. i got so fed up that i threw the car in 4WD and gassed it hoping the car would drive over the ramps. that only further jammed the ramps into my car. the driversside is so bad that my door is unaligned and wont open cause of the fender.
I hate being stupid
Savage_Messiah
10-22-2005, 01:43 AM
that sucks, good luck with it
if it helps, one time I said "hm why can't I get this jackstand out..." and was about to hit the pin out with a hammer then realized I forgot to jack the car up so I almost had a camaro fall on me :lol:
qwikz28
10-22-2005, 01:50 AM
btw- i feel like an idiot so if anyone wants to add there own personal stories of my idiotness, feel free.
Squirrel
10-22-2005, 12:10 PM
hm....im pretty sure im not retarded....lemme check, ill get back to ya
one time I was working on my camaro and I left a 5/8 combination wrench on the fender. I then slid under the car on my back and I guess I pulled the fender cover a little bit and the wrench fell off and landed directly on my junk. as if that wasnt bad enough, I quick jerked my head up and smashed it on the front sub frame. That pissed me off so I punched the uderside of the floor board. I must have punched something sharp, because I put a nice gash in my knuckle. I then got out from under the car and threw the wrench as hard as I could, while screaming with rage, across the street. I calmed down a little bit later and went to look for the wrench, but it was in the woods and i never found it.
There have been other things that were MUCH dumber than that, but I think I blocked them from my memory :lol:
i drifted out of my hs parking lot once and caught a puddle and nailed a curb :shrug:
Brando56894
10-22-2005, 03:31 PM
i think ians story beats them all so far :lol:
Kojak
10-22-2005, 04:19 PM
one time I was working on my camaro and I left a 5/8 combination wrench on the fender. I then slid under the car on my back and I guess I pulled the fender cover a little bit and the wrench fell off and landed directly on my junk. as if that wasnt bad enough, I quick jerked my head up and smashed it on the front sub frame. That pissed me off so I punched the uderside of the floor board. I must have punched something sharp, because I put a nice gash in my knuckle. I then got out from under the car and threw the wrench as hard as I could, while screaming with rage, across the street. I calmed down a little bit later and went to look for the wrench, but it was in the woods and i never found it.
There have been other things that were MUCH dumber than that, but I think I blocked them from my memory :lol:
Almost the same thing happend to me. I was underneath my moms changing a bursted power steering hose and somehow a wrench fell from the enging bay onto my head... The stupid part was that i heard it falling and hitting things on the way down so instead of pulling my head away to saftey i look up for where its going to fall...
camaro2you
10-22-2005, 07:17 PM
one time I was working on my camaro and I left a 5/8 combination wrench on the fender. I then slid under the car on my back and I guess I pulled the fender cover a little bit and the wrench fell off and landed directly on my junk. as if that wasnt bad enough, I quick jerked my head up and smashed it on the front sub frame. That pissed me off so I punched the uderside of the floor board. I must have punched something sharp, because I put a nice gash in my knuckle. I then got out from under the car and threw the wrench as hard as I could, while screaming with rage, across the street. I calmed down a little bit later and went to look for the wrench, but it was in the woods and i never found it.
There have been other things that were MUCH dumber than that, but I think I blocked them from my memory :lol:
I think that happens to all of us, one time i hit my head working on my rear and i had a 8lb sledge in my hand and i was about the bash in the quater panel when i stopped my self, then the creaper wouldnt move so i hit with a wooden hammer extremly hard and it broke it in half. some days just arent good.lol
79CamaroDiva
10-22-2005, 07:21 PM
one time I was working on my camaro and I left a 5/8 combination wrench on the fender. I then slid under the car on my back and I guess I pulled the fender cover a little bit and the wrench fell off and landed directly on my junk. as if that wasnt bad enough, I quick jerked my head up and smashed it on the front sub frame. That pissed me off so I punched the uderside of the floor board. I must have punched something sharp, because I put a nice gash in my knuckle. I then got out from under the car and threw the wrench as hard as I could, while screaming with rage, across the street. I calmed down a little bit later and went to look for the wrench, but it was in the woods and i never found it.
There have been other things that were MUCH dumber than that, but I think I blocked them from my memory :lol:
Thank you so much for that laugh. That's pretty good. And at someone else's expense :P
LT!freak94
10-22-2005, 08:18 PM
well tonight i went to go help my friend change his blown out tire and well i got everything he neede but the tire go figure so i go back and well i had to stop to get gas i ran out of gas infront of the gasstation but rolloed up to the pump info my gas gauge dont work so i get the tire get their and then we get it all done and i left the unbrella ontop of the roof of his explore and we got home and he got out it got wedged underneath the roof rack lol but a succesfull night in all
foff667
10-22-2005, 09:56 PM
aight i dunno if i can beat it but I'll try...when i was 18 i had my 89 beretta...my driveway had an incline as well but i was faced in opposite of you. Well i decided to take apart part of my dash...while i was in there i realized i needed to move the shifter back a bit out of the way...not thinking twice i threw the keys in the ignition & put it to where it needed to go...N...car starts rolling, im on passenger side with the door open...boom door hits siding and pulls door back 3/4 of the way :lol: door never was aligned right again. There there it is...I have more but I'll save them for a rainy day oh wait(looks out window). :lol:
bitchincamaro
10-22-2005, 11:21 PM
i was at the track one night. did my burnout and pulled up to the line. the lights drop and i leave. it was a pretty good pass. when i come back up to the return lane i see a guy waving me down by the tower, i am thinking ,"****, now they are going to bust my balls and really tech my car", i roll down the window and the guy hands me my cell phone, he said he caught it out of the air when i launched. that was pretty embarrassing. i had my trunk key (a screwdriver) fall off my car launching before too, the guy gave back to my buddy at the line.
Well... everyone has there moments. When I crashed my TA during the beginning of the first major snowstorm in Jan 2004, I was furious. When I hit the car from behind, I wore my cappachino coffee all over my new christmas leather jacket. That was Anger Management Lesson #1. I played it cool, took the jacket off. The guy's car I hit, had NO damage, not even a scratch... I slowly turned my head to my car, and its crunched. That was Anger Management Lesson #2. Now the fact the guy was a major asshat and being a complete dick, that was Anger Management #3. (He later got a claim for $833 to buff out a "tiny scratch") Now all this anger built up, I drove my car 2 blocks down to my house. I parked it in the driveway, stepped out of the car, walked over to my driver side fender, took a deep breath, and kicked the fender in twice calling it a piece of **** in the process. I never got to finish that coffee, and I ended up replacing what was suppose to be a perfectly good fender until my boots put good dents into it.
To be honest, I felt like an idiot. Not about the accident ordeal tho, but more along the "I had to replace a fender that I ended up damaging with my foot" :-D
Rob WS6
10-23-2005, 02:13 PM
Ive got alot of stupid stories... so Ill abbreviate them...
1: Showing off during highschool in my black GTA, infront of about 150 other classmates, dumped the clutch tore ass out of the parking lot, went around a bend, back end kicked out, (as all out cars have torque arms we all know what goes on when that happens :roll: )kicks back the other way, then back the other way, then back the other way and kept going 180* just missing an oncoming car, went parallel up a curb, and completley taking out a small oak tree with my drivers door. 150 kids running over to see if I was ok, which I was, just embarrased and pissed as hell, I caved in the outer b pillar with my fist and broke a knuckle. :lol: Needless to say I learned my lesson, or did I?
2: A week after the above said story, last day of school for me, in my grey GTA, did the largest burnout in history for everyone... smoke for a quarter mile, the groves are still in the pavement to this day. Pulled normally out of the parking lot (to avoid another last weeks incident) promptly to be pulled over by a cop in the exact spot I took out the tree a week earlier. Doh... twice the embarrasment.
3: Next, working on the black GTA, just finished putting the TPI intake all back on (first time really working on a car), hanging over the distributor with a cig hanging out of my mouth, setting the timing with a friend cranking it over it finally starts... so I start looking around the back of the fuel rails, and notice TONS of gas spewing out the cold start injector bung (forgot the o-ring)... with cigg still hanging out my mouth about 1" from the spray. Scream to shut it off while jumping back slamming my head on the hood.
4: While taking off the exhaust manifolds of DeadTrend's lt1, suddenly out of nowhere the skys opened up in what seemed to be a small monsoon... So I react by slam my head on the concrete, then up onto the crossmember, then back down on the concrete. Ouch.
5: While making a sub box for the 'vert, I finshed making a cut with the circular saw, but the piece of wood didnt break off. So I grabbed the saw with my left hand, smacked the wood off with my right hand, and promptly brought my hand up into the blade. 20something stitches and 1 nerve graph surgery later, Ive almost got all the feeling back on the outer side of my index finger. :owned:
6: While measuring trunk of other GTA a couple years prior to above incident to make a sub box for that as well, the hatch supports didnt work. So I had a bookbag holding it up. Went to shut the hatch, forgot about the book bag. Rear hatches dont break into big chunks, they completley shatter in 7,000,000 small particles.
Needless to say, I buy premade sub enclosures now. :roll:
Im sure theres a few more Ive luckily forgotten about... If I remember em Ill post em up.
I got another one. Its not a "I'm a complete idiot story", but it is funny.
when I was at school, we had to perform certain welds and get then signed off by the instructor. I was TIG welding aluminum and it was a corner weld. I had been trying to get this one weld signed off for a week and a half already, but the teachers kept telling me that they expect mine in perticular to be near perfect. that in it self pissed me off because there were kids getting welds signed off that looked worse than my crappiest one! Anyway, I had been trying to get the weld signed off all day and towards the end of the day, someone took over my welder. no biggie, I went and got another one. I grab some aluminum, sit down, set up the welder and I start welding. I just sharpened the tungsten so the arc was real nice. I get about halfway across the piece of aluminum and thats when two things happened. number one, I started getting shocked like a mother****er! normally, when that happens, I stop welding and I get another welder....BUT then the other thing happened. I realized that the weld I was in the middle of was damn near perfect! So I kept welding and getting shocked. It hurt like a bastard, but I finished the weld. I was so excited because it looked so good, I grabbed the metal with some vice grips and ran over to the teacher. He looked it over and this is waht he said."looks good, bring me another one that looks just like this and I'll sign it off." I got into a little argument with him about how that was ******** and that I am a better welder than he was (which is true, he could weld very well, but he was an AMAZING painter). that pissed him off a lot and I didnt get that weld signed off until a week later after showing him about 15 more that were the same quality as the first one.
bad64chevelle
10-24-2005, 11:31 AM
My Stupidity:
A few years ago over the summer I took an autobody class. I was using a plasma cutter to cut out a piece of metal for a patch panel. Of course I shouldnt have been using it at the time, so like a dumbass I wanted to be as discreet as possible. I cut out the piece, it fell on the floor and I cleaned up the area, and picked up the piece of metal, and walked back to my station to continue working. Well i smelled what seemed to be burning flesh, and at the same moment I had throbbing pain in my hand. (I forgot to put my gloves back on before picking the metal up) well needless to say my two fingers were pretty much burned with 3rd degree burns...
Friends Stupidity:
When I still had my Jeep, I wanted to put a nice dynomax muffler on it, so he decided that he had nothing to do so he would help me. We sawzalled the old muffler off, and were finally got the new one on, and were just re-tightening some clamps. Needless to say we are laying on the ground in my driveway finageling this muffler on. All of a sudded he says "**** I gotta sneeze" he has that 30 second long period between a sneeze and losing a sneeze and finally it goes away so he continues to wrench. without warning the sneeze comes and all i hear is kapling, thwack, kapling as he slammed his head on the muffler then on the concrete then back on the muffler...
Untamed
10-24-2005, 01:28 PM
Oh man, hot soup and reading this thread dont go together. I was laughing so hard, just about had hot soup come out my nose.
ar0ck
10-24-2005, 02:12 PM
My story:
Sal & I were cleaning my old 350, when it was on the engine stand. When we got the bright idea to rotate it on the stand (which was possible) Sal grabed the front of the motor to try and take the preasure off the handles, I pulled the safety pin out (with one hand on the handle bar), and the motor cap-sized, taking my thumb for the ride. I broke my thumb and cut it open, and sal had to take me to the hospital. He was quicker then me, and I got burnt.
We just left the motor upside down and ran to his car, because no one was home at the time.
And besides that, when we were pulling the 305, I was underneath trying to saw-zall the y-pipe off the manifolds, and when I finally got the last part, the heaviest part of the y-pipe fell onto my chest... that sum bitch was heavy and nocked the wind out of me.
Ive also busted my nuckles many times tightening **** on the T/A.
slasherbarb
10-24-2005, 05:03 PM
my turn i guess...
1) I was mounting a fresh pair of 17 inch tires in a pair of SS rims for my friend dave...i got the first one on perfectly...seated the bead real quick...but for some reason, the second tire would not seat itself...i tried everything i could think of, but it wouldnt seat...so i finally i remembered a method one of the other mechanics had used...so i went inside the store and got a fresh can of starting fluid and i proceeded to spray some on the part that wouldnt seat...then i got a lighter and light it....i waited for a second and then said to my coworker to put out the flames with the air hose...but i forgot to move out of the way he was spraying the air...so a huge ball of flames came right at me...my shirt caught on fire for a sec and i singed all the hair from the bottom of my right arm...the hair finally grew back...
2)I'm driving home from Ramsey one night with a couple of friends(this was in my Beretta)...on the way back we missed the exit for 287 to take us home so i make a u turn and come back the other way...this time, for some reason, i went on the road in front of the Sheraton crossroads...i wasn't paying much attention and this 90 degree curb came right in front of me...and i couldnt get out of the way and i ended up hopping the curb...in the process i blew out both left side tires and bent both steel rims...
sikbyrd350
10-24-2005, 05:06 PM
I have to many retarded stories to tell , so I'll just leave you with this:
http://www.njfboa.org/forums/images/avatars/1947888850433309c2a9e99.jpg
qwikz28
10-24-2005, 05:36 PM
I have to many retarded stories to tell , so I'll just leave you with this:
http://www.njfboa.org/forums/images/avatars/1947888850433309c2a9e99.jpgthat picture doesnt even show half the stupidity that man can produce
sikbyrd350
10-24-2005, 05:48 PM
I have to many retarded stories to tell , so I'll just leave you with this:
http://www.njfboa.org/forums/images/avatars/1947888850433309c2a9e99.jpgthat picture doesnt even show half the stupidity that man can produce
i can't host a vid here, but somehow i will get j0n's drunk dial video online somehow.
qwikz28
10-24-2005, 06:23 PM
I have to many retarded stories to tell , so I'll just leave you with this:
http://www.njfboa.org/forums/images/avatars/1947888850433309c2a9e99.jpgthat picture doesnt even show half the stupidity that man can produce
i can't host a vid here, but somehow i will get j0n's drunk dial video online somehow.yeah i'm still waitin for that vid btw
yeah i'm still waitin for that vid btw
we all are :wink:
spank burn a cd with the vid and get to me via snail mail or something...ill get it online
qwikz28
10-24-2005, 07:24 PM
spank burn a cd with the vid and get to me via snail mail or something...ill get it onlinei love how proud you are that your a reckless *******
im not reckless...just an *******...and an idiot
i think my story can be a winner. ill do it quick: beer/vodka > 3am > car > 100mph > 90 degree turn > curb > police > home :shock: :lol:
Savage_Messiah
10-24-2005, 10:01 PM
well tsar that takes the idiot cake, even if it sucks as a story
well tsar that takes the idiot cake, even if it sucks as a storywheres my idiot trophy?
qwikz28
10-24-2005, 10:08 PM
well tsar that takes the idiot cake, even if it sucks as a storywheres my idiot trophy?you tell us, its made of paper and distributed by police officers.
Savage_Messiah
10-24-2005, 10:10 PM
with your DWI summons
well tsar that takes the idiot cake, even if it sucks as a storywheres my idiot trophy?you tell us, its made of paper and distributed by police officers.i dunno :lol: cop never gave me a ticket. he pushed my car on the grass with his cruiser then told us "have a nice night gentelmen" and was on his way...
thats what happens when rim meets the curb :lol:
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y238/Kingvitali/new.jpg
Savage_Messiah
10-24-2005, 10:24 PM
you have gotta be kidding me
you have gotta be kidding menope, i had witness in the car. what do you expect from daytona beach police?
79dizZy28
10-24-2005, 10:31 PM
:shock: :omg: :shock:
bad64chevelle
10-25-2005, 08:58 AM
that can be fixed... :roll:
slasherbarb
10-25-2005, 09:13 AM
wtf!!! :shock: thats one fn precise blow to shatter the rim like that!!! and it's still holding air?!?! :shock:
bad64chevelle
10-25-2005, 09:15 AM
im reckless...an *******...and an idiot
thats what it should have read. we need to put that on the back of your car j0n so the rest of the world will know.
Tru2Chevy
10-25-2005, 09:26 AM
i can't host a vid here, but somehow i will get j0n's drunk dial video online somehow.
If you can e-mail it to me (Tru2Chevy@gmail.com) I can get it hosted up here. :)
- Justin
wtf!!! :shock: thats one fn precise blow to shatter the rim like that!!! Â*and it's still holding air?!?! :shock:i dont think it broke because of a precise hit, rather a huge ****ing momentum of the car :lol:
i circled where the rim hit the curb, the rim was pretty f'd up i must say
http://i6.photobucket.com/albums/y238/Kingvitali/DSC00660.jpg
You can also see the rotor marks on the inside too...
i can't host a vid here, but somehow i will get j0n's drunk dial video online somehow.
If you can e-mail it to me (Tru2Chevy@gmail.com) I can get it hosted up here. Â* :)
- Justin
he cant email it...too big for any mailbox...and he has no way to compress it
i think my story can be a winner. ill do it quick: beer/vodka > 3am > car > 100mph > 90 degree turn > curb > police > home Â*:shock: Â*:lol:
i may do stupid ****...but i dont put other lives in danger...that's absolutely and ultimately ****ing stupid...its too bad you're still alive after a stunt like that
bad64chevelle
10-25-2005, 12:04 PM
wow thats kinda a dick thing to say j0n dont you think?
would it be a dick thing to say if tsar said, "I killed two women and a baby in the process of doing this to my rim, I win the idiot award."?
qwikz28
10-25-2005, 12:24 PM
would it be a dick thing to say if tsar said, "I killed two women and a baby in the process of doing this to my rim, I win the idiot award."?:stupid: i just didnt have the balls to say it.
would it be a dick thing to say if tsar said, "I killed two women and a baby in the process of doing this to my rim, I win the idiot award."?:stupid: i just didnt have the balls to say it.
thats what I'm here for :wink:
would it be a dick thing to say if tsar said, "I killed two women and a baby in the process of doing this to my rim, I win the idiot award."?
ya beat me to it ian! yea that was gunna be the gyst of my second post
Tru2Chevy
10-25-2005, 01:26 PM
he cant email it...too big for any mailbox...and he has no way to compress it
No Gmail account? I haven't had them turn anything away yet...
- Justin
sikbyrd350
10-25-2005, 01:30 PM
he cant email it...too big for any mailbox...and he has no way to compress it
No Gmail account? I haven't had them turn anything away yet...
- Justin
HUGE file
79dizZy28
10-25-2005, 01:34 PM
he cant email it...too big for any mailbox...and he has no way to compress it
No Gmail account? Â*I haven't had them turn anything away yet...
- Justin
HUGE file
www.yousendit.com might be able to handle it :nod:
i think my story can be a winner. ill do it quick: beer/vodka > 3am > car > 100mph > 90 degree turn > curb > police > home Â*:shock: Â*:lol:
i may do stupid ****...but i dont put other lives in danger...that's absolutely and ultimately ****ing stupid...its too bad you're still alive after a stunt like thatohh well i dont really care about your worthless opinion. Next time you race your car i hope you have a tire blow out or any stupid **** like that and smash your car into a telephone pole, that would end your worthless life. I think we're even now.
bad64chevelle
10-25-2005, 04:46 PM
ok children lets stop before this gets even more out of hand.
sikbyrd350
10-25-2005, 04:46 PM
i think my story can be a winner. ill do it quick: beer/vodka > 3am > car > 100mph > 90 degree turn > curb > police > home :shock: :lol:
i may do stupid ****...but i dont put other lives in danger...that's absolutely and ultimately ****ing stupid...its too bad you're still alive after a stunt like thatohh well i dont really care about your worthless opinion. Next time you race your car i hope you have a tire blow out or any stupid **** like that and smash your car into a telephone pole, that would end your worthless life. I think we're even now.
i swear to god, if i have to turn this car around you'll both be grounded for a week!
bad64chevelle
10-25-2005, 04:51 PM
i think my story can be a winner. ill do it quick: beer/vodka > 3am > car > 100mph > 90 degree turn > curb > police > home Â*:shock: Â*:lol:
i may do stupid ****...but i dont put other lives in danger...that's absolutely and ultimately ****ing stupid...its too bad you're still alive after a stunt like thatohh well i dont really care about your worthless opinion. Next time you race your car i hope you have a tire blow out or any stupid **** like that and smash your car into a telephone pole, that would end your worthless life. I think we're even now.
i swear to god, if i have to turn this car around you'll both be grounded for a week!
:funny:
qwikz28
10-25-2005, 09:10 PM
i think my story can be a winner. ill do it quick: beer/vodka > 3am > car > 100mph > 90 degree turn > curb > police > home Â*:shock: Â*:lol:
i may do stupid ****...but i dont put other lives in danger...that's absolutely and ultimately ****ing stupid...its too bad you're still alive after a stunt like thatohh well i dont really care about your worthless opinion. Next time you race your car i hope you have a tire blow out or any stupid **** like that and smash your car into a telephone pole, that would end your worthless life. I think we're even now.
i swear to god, if i have to turn this car around you'll both be grounded for a week! :lol:
i think my story can be a winner. ill do it quick: beer/vodka > 3am > car > 100mph > 90 degree turn > curb > police > home Â*:shock: Â*:lol:
i may do stupid ****...but i dont put other lives in danger...that's absolutely and ultimately ****ing stupid...its too bad you're still alive after a stunt like thatohh well i dont really care about your worthless opinion. Next time you race your car i hope you have a tire blow out or any stupid **** like that and smash your car into a telephone pole, that would end your worthless life. I think we're even now.
i swear to god, if i have to turn this car around you'll both be grounded for a week!
I can't say I haven't heard that one growing up :lol: . classic.
ar0ck
10-25-2005, 10:22 PM
www.putfile.com usually works nicely.
JL8Jeff
10-27-2005, 12:41 PM
Well, I had the droplight fall on my forehead a couple of times last night while doing the plug wires. That metal shield that goes around it gets pretty hot! The first time really pissed me off, but the 2nd and third time I knew it was gonna hurt so it wasn't that big of a deal. :roll:
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