Those looking for something funny

[ProtekYoNutz]

9 Things Hated About Everyone



1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?


2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room
for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the
channel manually.


3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too".
Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?


4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is.
Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do
this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their asses!


5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I
paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.


6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?


7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then
there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there
must have been something before it, couldn't be new.


8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest
damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?


9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come
yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?


any other good ones...add

[enRo]

:kneeslap: But #1 ... I actually DO point to my crotch when I ask "Where can I drain this?" :lol:

[camaro2you]

lmao

[BigAls87Z28]

I have a set of complex hand signlas at work to tell techs what kinda work is on the board.

[Firebird67dude]

People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a
choice there, did ya sunshine?


LOL. I hate ppl. that say that. I usually say No and then walk away.

I HATE when u get the ppl. that keep text messageing you asking if ur awake. They send one evey 5 mins. in the middle of the night. HEy dumbass I oviously asleep. hehe

[chevyt454]

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know
where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch
when I ask where the toilet is?



What is being asked when one points at a women's breast?

[turbo96z28]

I have a set of complex hand signlas at work to tell techs what kinda work is on the board.



thank god we aren't the only shop that uses sign language.

[trashman01]

What is being asked when one points at a women's breast?
Milk me?:rofl:

[turbo96z28]

i got one because it happens at work all the time.


people that come up to you while you are obviously in the middle of doing something and ask "Are you busy?"

[V]

1. Sometimes you may not be in hearing distance and you mouth the words "what time is it" and if you point at your watch it gets the message across with the lip movements. I guess people got used to it and do it anytime they ask.

4. I think the original phrase is "In the last place I would've looked" or "In the last place I would have thought of looking".

8. Life is short, death is a hell of a lot longer, and a bit more permanent.

9. Sometimes bus stops have different routes stop there so maybe someone is waiting for a different bus and a person can ask them about a previous bus.


I had to comment, but for no real reason other than being a wiseass. lol.

[jims69camaro]

geroge carlin at his best

[Oddball]

:kneeslap: But #1 ... I actually DO point to my crotch when I ask "Where can I drain this?" :lol:

Interesting pick up line. No wonder you do so well with the ladies ;)

[enRo]

Interesting pick up line. No wonder you do so well with the ladies ;)

Chea' Chea' :lol:

The best is when Im on the back of a garbage truck, and a out-of-state tourist waves me down and asks "Excuse me, can you tell me where route 80 West/East is?" ... Now the three or four times someone has asked that, it was seriously down a cpl blocks with more signs pointing to the direction than the egyptian pyramids... so just cuz I'm a kind person, one of those assclowns got the complete opposite. He asked for 80 West, so I sent him east thru 4 townships down to Parsippany (about a 15 mile haul) and told him where the 80 west onramp was :lol:

[Savage_Messiah]

Ahhh... if you give a ****** tip or no tip at all and ask a valet for directions, be prepared for one hell of a backwoods adventure ;)

[SteveR]

when people start off telling me something with "can I be honest with you?" No ****head, lie to me and make it all up.

[camaroracer1992]

i didnt laugh one bit

[79CamaroDiva]

I get this ALL the time at the track.

"do you drive that?" or "where's the driver"

Yes, I drive it, and I'm right here. Is it that hard to ****in believe?? Apparently it is, because i get it at LEAST once every weekend.

[BigAls87Z28]

Whats wrong about you driving a Jeep??

[ProtekYoNutz]

i didnt laugh one bit


thats because you need to take the tampon outta your ass and lighten up! or at least go get laid already and stop being such a rude ass person. if you didnt laugh fine, others did....get over tryin to be such a hardass cuz for the record...people dont like that and to rebuttle against the other comments you made towards me in the previous thread i had and couldnt respond to due to lack of computer....i did nothing to offend you, you dont even know me. so why be rude to someone you haven't even met?! yeah your mother raised you really well....lets pick on a girl who did nothing to you, and who you dont even know, over a topic that you supposetly thought was pointless.....and yet if it was....why did you make such a fuss over it.....grow up and stop being such a jerk! :lol: o and have a nice day! :flower:

[camaroracer1992]

how did i pick on you i made a statment, damn settle down girl someones got PMS :)

[Tru2Chevy]

geroge carlin at his best

Oh yes, gotta love the stuff that he comes up with.

- Justin

[ProtekYoNutz]

how did i pick on you i made a statment, damn settle down girl someones got PMS :)

not really and if dont know wow your dumb

[enRo]

[moonwalks into thread]K, no more fights please :-D Yee hee[/moonwalks out of thread]

People who call your personal cell phone and ask "Hey is (yourname) there?" Well no **** I just picked up my phone now didnt I? :-D

[Oddball]

With the tension in what was a funny thread, do I need to bring a joint, bottle or Tequila, and 80's porno to the meet Saturday?

"Calm down.... have some dip"
- Georgo Carlin

[Ian]

People who call your personal cell phone and ask "Hey is (yourname) there?" Well no **** I just picked up my phone now didnt I? :-D

that reminds me! one time my friend anthony called me at my house, on my house phone no less. I pick up and he's says "Ian!" so I say, "hey whats up man?" This is where it gets good, anthony then says to me "nothing much, where are you?" :knock: He just called my HOUSE number and I picked up! where the hell did he think I was?!?! :lol:

[ProtekYoNutz]

:funny:

[turbo96z28]

that reminds me! one time my friend anthony called me at my house, on my house phone no less. I pick up and he's says "Ian!" so I say, "hey whats up man?" This is where it gets good, anthony then says to me "nothing much, where are you?" :knock: He just called my HOUSE number and I picked up! where the hell did he think I was?!?! :lol:


you beat me to it!!!!!!!

my friend Karl does that **** to me all the time!!!!

[79CamaroDiva]

oh yeah, another one.. any time me or one of my friends goes to meet up with our friend jay, EVERY time, if we're not there 5 minutes before we said we would be, he calls up and goes 'yo, where ya at?' 'i'm on my ****ing way man!'

jay, if you read this, sorry.... :p

[jims69camaro]

Oh yes, gotta love the stuff that he comes up with.

- Justin

*pssst* like numbers 1 through 9 on the list? they were originally carlin material. not that they're not funny. i love carlin's stuff. speaking of which, your house is just a place to put your stuff.

[BonzoHansen]

geroge carlin at his bestI've got tix for Carlin on Sunday in Trenton. 8-)

Carlin: The average person is this stupid. That means that half the people you meet at stupider than that!

[PBodyGT87]

Oh, I've got one. Today in Beatles class were were about to take a quiz, and thus instructed to put everything away. well the guy next to me is freaking out cuz he doesnt have a pen, and he wouldnt go in his bookbag and look for one. So i reach in my purse, and hand him a pen. When the quiz was over, he held it up to me, and said, "Is this yours?" WTF DUDE! I Just handed it to you, out of my purse no less, and you're not sure if it's mine! of COURSE it is! Idiot.

[its Jeanne-Marie]

like on blue collar comedy when they do that "here's your sign" stuff...i like the one where he's using a coat hanger to open his car, a guy walks up to him and asks "lock yourself out of your car?" and he goes "nope, i just washed it...i'm hanging it up to dry"

[PBodyGT87]

like on blue collar comedy when they do that "here's your sign" stuff...i like the one where he's using a coat hanger to open his car, a guy walks up to him and asks "lock yourself out of your car?" and he goes "nope, i just washed it...i'm hanging it up to dry"

that's pretty much the first thing that came to mind when the kid asked if the pen was mine. "No, I just thought I'd do a little magic trick for you and make one appear"

[jims69camaro]

when someone calls and they are talking for a while, then they ask, "what are you doing?"

brain surgery. can i call you back?