jimmyboy8301
11-12-2006, 09:38 PM
What men learn from porn movies....
of couse this is assuming you all have either SEEN or BEEN IN a porn ... i mean .... uhhh, nevermind ... just read ... lol!
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. Going down on a woman for 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she won't scream with embarrassment, but rather
insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when splatted in the face with semen
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy "****s".
11. People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
13. A common & enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there are two of them they "high 5" each other. (And the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
18. If u come across a guy & his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of **** out of you if you shove your **** in his girlfriend's mouth.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be pissed off for a second, before ****ing both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's ****, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. ******** are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a **** there.
30. When standing during a blowjob, it is ok that a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
of couse this is assuming you all have either SEEN or BEEN IN a porn ... i mean .... uhhh, nevermind ... just read ... lol!
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. Going down on a woman for 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she won't scream with embarrassment, but rather
insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when splatted in the face with semen
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy "****s".
11. People in the 70's couldn't **** unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
13. A common & enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there are two of them they "high 5" each other. (And the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
18. If u come across a guy & his girlfriend having sex in the bushes, the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of **** out of you if you shove your **** in his girlfriend's mouth.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patient's cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be pissed off for a second, before ****ing both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's ****, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. ******** are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a **** there.
30. When standing during a blowjob, it is ok that a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.