What would Jesus drive?

[unstable bob gable]

Most people assume WWJD is for "What would Jesus do?" But the initials really stand for "What would Jesus drive?"

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because "the Bible says God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Perhaps God favors Dodge pickup trucks, because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

Some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to talk about it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord."

Meanwhile, Moses rode an old British motorcycle, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring, "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Joshua drove a Triumph sports car with a hole in its muffler: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land." And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car-pooled in a Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord."

[Knipps]

:lol: nice one

[Ian]

c'mon. we all know jesus drove a Camaro 8)

[IROCdan330]

now thats funny. haha.

[chrisfrom nj]

a white 69 camaro with a big block in it with red raceing stripes its good and evil at the same time

[baddest434]

good one:lol: but i thought WWJD= what would jesus drink!

[WayFast84]

jesus drove a funbus

[Rafterman]

Then again, "the head of John the Baptist was
brought to King Herod in a CHARGER." - Mark 6:25

[DieselKickYoAss4Sure]

Jesus drove a unimog http://www.njfboa.org/forums/attachment.php?attachmentid=688&stc=1&d=1168719568
Mercedes-Unimog-U-500-1.jpge

[Ian]

mercedes should really just stick to making luxury sedans

[Frosty]

LOL, nice

[DieselKickYoAss4Sure]

mercedes should really just stick to making luxury sedans

Eh why The Unimog has been around forever and who else is gona make atruck with front and rear PTO,s 18 forward speeds and 6 reverse!

[bad64chevelle]

jesus drives HEMI cars, hands down...his beater is probably a 440 car...

[Rafterman]

jesus drives HEMI cars, hands down...his beater is probably a 440 car...

1969 Charger Daytona with 440-6

[Ian]

jesus' beater is probably a 71 hemi cuda convertable :lol:

I know if I was the son of god, I'd beat a ton of really rare cars.

[johnjzjz]

hahahahhahahahahah that was good -- jz

[slasherbarb]

Jesus drives a 66 Impala, candy red with 14' 100 spoke gold daytons, switches, a 6500 watt stereo by JL Audio, 12 screens, and a .44 in the glove box, all while cruising on 3 wheels bumping that Death Row ****!!!

/ganster rant

[Blacdout96]

Jesus would drive a Ferrari 250 GTO fo sho

[Brando56894]

Jesus drives a 66 Impala, candy red with 14' 100 spoke gold daytons, switches, a 6500 watt stereo by JL Audio, 12 screens, and a .44 in the glove box, all while cruising on 3 wheels bumping that Death Row ****!!!

/ganster rant

:funny: nice one barb


actually jesus drives a geo metro just cuz he can, and if anyone says anything about it, he kills them....

[Tru2Chevy]

Nah, Jesus was pimpin' a Dodge Spirit.....

- Justin

[unstable bob gable]

Ever hear the Ministry song "Jesus built my hot rod?" :lol:

[Brando56894]

haha nah whats that a southern song? :lol:

[Tru2Chevy]

Ever hear the Ministry song "Jesus built my hot rod?" :lol:

Hell Yea, great song!

Soon I discovered that this rock thing was true
Jerry lee lewis was the devil
Jesus was an architect previous to his career as a prophet
All of a sudden, I found myself in love with the world
So there was only one thing that I could do
Was ding a ding dang my dang a long ling long

Ding dang a dong bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Everytime I try to do it all now baby
Am I on the run
Why why why why why baby
If its so evil then?
Give me my time, with all my power
Give it to me all again (wow)
Ding a ding a dang a dong dong ding dong
Every where I go

Everytime you tell me baby
When I settle down
Got to get me a trailer park
And hold my world around
Why why why why?

Ding ding donga dong dong ding dong
Dingy dingy son of a gun
Half my time I tell you baby
Never am I all for sure
Why why why why why baby
Sicky sicky from within
Everytime I stick my finger on in ya
Youre a wild wild little town bitch
Now how bout ding a dang dong dong dong ling long
Dingy a dingy dong a down

Everytime you tell me baby
When I settle down
Got to get me a trailer park
And hold my world around
Why why why why?

In my dang a ding a ding a ding dong
A sticky sticky son of a gun
Ding a danga danga dong dong ding dong
Why why never know
Why why wack a dong a dang ding dong
Then you take it on the bill
Ding dang dong dont dong
Whoa!

I wanna love ya!

Why why why, why why darling
Do you do you tell me to play?
Half the time I talk about it all now baby
You know what Im talkin about I said
Why why why itll
Ticky ticky ticky ticky
Son of a gun
Ding ding dong a bong bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun

Bing bing bang a bang a bang bing bong bing a bing bang a bong
Binga bing a bang a bong bong bing bong bing banga bong

Bing bing bang a bong bong bing bing binga binga banga bong
Bing bing bang a bang bang bing bong

Aarrrhhhh...

Ding dang a dang bong bing bong
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Everytime I try to do it all now baby
Am I on the run
Why why why
Itll ticky ticky ticky ticky ticky ticky
Dawn of a gun
Bing bing bang a bong a bong bing bang a
Ticky ticky thought of a gun
Bing bip bip a bop bop boom bam
Ticky ticky through the day

If you got a doubt bout baby
The memory is on the bed
Why why why why why
Darlin uh it dont know
When my time is on
Might tell me never do it on his own
If my time was all as is yours
Make me burn a wish
When my time with you is brutish
No Ill never not ever

Why why why why why why baby heavy hell
Alone and its here its this thunder
The thunder oh thunder
Oh!

Jesus built my car
Its a love affair
Mainly jesus and my hot rod

Yeah, **** it!

- Justin

[DieselKickYoAss4Sure]

never heard it myself1

[NJSPEEDER]

ministry, jesus built my hot rod, from the album psalm 69 :)

[chevyt454]

Jesus would drive a Hemi Cuda - It would need no keys because who would steal from Jesus?