View Full Version : The Official Patty's Day thread
Kojak
03-17-2007, 06:27 PM
Post up your incoherent inebriated babble of a stupor of green booze and Irish dance by the end of the night.
Stay safe tonight, Happy St. Patrick Day.
PS: If this thread is empty by tomorrow morning ill be disappointed…
GP99GT
03-17-2007, 06:28 PM
now its not empty
johnjzjz
03-17-2007, 06:45 PM
GUIDE FOR YOU FOR ST PATRICK'S DAY
IRISH BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE
SYMPTOM
CAUSE
CORRECTIVE ACTION
Feet cold and wet
Glass Being held at incorrect angle.
Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling
Feet warm and wet
Improper Bladder Control
Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training
Beer unusually pale and tasteless
a. Glass empty.
b. You're holding a Coors Lite
Get someone to buy you another beer
Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights
You have fallen over backward.
Have yourself leashed to the bar
Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes
You have fallen forward
See above
Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet
a. Mouth not open
b. Glass applied to wrong part of face
Retire to restroom, practice in front of mirror
Floor Blurred
You are looking through bottom of empty glass
Get someone to buy you another beer
Floor moving
You are being carried out
Find out if you are being taken to another bar
Room seems unusually dark
Bar has closed
Confirm home address with bartender. If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run .
Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures
Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations
Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside
Everyone looks up to you and smiles
You are dancing on the table
Fall on someone cushy-looking
Beer is crystal-clear (my fav)
It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up
Punch him
People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup
You're in the ladies' room
Do not use urinal! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers before exiting (optional)
Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear
You have been in a fight
Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them
Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in
You've wandered into the wrong party
See if they have free beer
Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk
a. You're in jail
b. You're in the navy
Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach
You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps
You're in a gay bar
Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for backrubs
Your singing sounds distorted
The beer is too weak
Have more beer until your voice improves
Don't remember the words to the song
Beer is just right
Play air guitar
bad64chevelle
03-17-2007, 06:56 PM
Sorry, being broke sucks...no incoherent talk from me tonight :-)
Beer is crystal-clear (my fav)
It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up
Punch him
:rofl:
Kojak
03-18-2007, 03:32 AM
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I got pretty drunk last night. I was gonna drunk dial people, but I couldnt work my phone :lol:
thank god for designated drivers!
oh, and thank god for all those smoking hot redheads at the bar last night. I've never seen so many in one place like that before
unstable bob gable
03-18-2007, 11:40 AM
Did youz guyz know that St Patty was really English? Honest Injun! He was kidnapped in England at age 16, and sold into slavery in Ireland.:shock:
Kojak
03-18-2007, 04:44 PM
Did youz guyz know that St Patty was really English? Honest Injun! He was kidnapped in England at age 16, and sold into slavery in Ireland.:shock:
Did they shave your testicles and beat you in a burlap bag..?
Squirrel
03-18-2007, 05:56 PM
"an evil petting zoo?"
"YOU ALWAYS DO THAT!"
BigAls87Z28
03-19-2007, 02:01 AM
...oh, and thank god for all those smoking hot redheads at the bar last night. I've never seen so many in one place like that before
:bs: x10000
No such things, unless they were on fire. Brunettes FTW.
PBodyGT87
03-19-2007, 10:46 AM
I spent St. Patty's at the Rangers game in NYC. Dancing Larry FTW!
Earlier that day I saw the parade down 5th, went to Fitzgeralds for some corned beef and cabbage with boiled potatos and carrots, had myself a Killians, (keeping it light), cleaned the apartment, and then to that Rangers game where I sat next to two Canadians with Boston jersies on (rangers 7, bruins 0!) had MSG's idea of "green beer" (a translucent green cup) and then back the the apartment, and then out again to Grassroots and the Hairy Monk.
:bs: x10000
No such things, unless they were on fire. Brunettes FTW.
trust me, I prefer brunettes as well, but these redheads were definitely hot!:nod:
Brando56894
03-19-2007, 12:58 PM
suprisingly i wasnt drunk at all :lol:
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