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View Full Version : Chuck Norris doesn't have one.......


12secondv6
09-04-2007, 04:35 PM
http://www.lightningdrink.com/

Steven Seagal Energy Drink!

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

I spit water on my computer screen!!!!!

Worthy of being a new avatar!

Predator86
09-04-2007, 04:38 PM
Everyone knows that chuck norris has a mighty power that no piece of aluminum could ever hope to contain!

12secondv6
09-04-2007, 04:48 PM
Everyone knows that chuck norris has a mighty power that no piece of aluminum could ever hope to contain!




:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Frigin priceless!

misterjuice
09-04-2007, 05:44 PM
Chuck Norris' stare can make a Caucasian man out of an African American man. :) (this is me being very PC)

WildBillyT
09-04-2007, 07:20 PM
Does it come with a speech about the plight of the Native Americans in this country?

jims69camaro
09-04-2007, 07:31 PM
isn't this the drink that hulk hogan passed on when he was looking for something to endorse (to make money) like the george foreman grill?

Knipps
09-05-2007, 08:13 AM
isn't this the drink that hulk hogan passed on when he was looking for something to endorse (to make money) like the george foreman grill?

:nod: most likely
or the wwe picked it up as they have their own now too

Untamed
09-05-2007, 08:23 AM
Segal is kinda like Elvis - before getting fat and after getting fat. Notice the picture of him on the can is before the fat days.

I'll stick with Gatorade.

jims69camaro
09-05-2007, 11:20 AM
when he started using a body double in his movies, i lost all respect for him.

bubba428
09-05-2007, 11:37 AM
of course walmart jumped on this lol...they'll sell anything

Dark_Knight7096
09-05-2007, 03:49 PM
Apparently you don't know much about Chuck Norris. In the late 1990s Mr. Norris began bottling and imbibing his own urine on the set of Walker Texas Ranger as a quick pick-me-up between filming. The rest of the cast began noticing how the urine was pepping up Mr. Norris and they started having him bottling some for their use too. Eventually word of this slightly biting beverage made its way around the world until it reached a young entrepeneur from Austria heard about it and ventured to the set of the show. Once there he sameld some of Mr. Norris' urine and agreed that the flavor (or to him flavour) wasn't that bad and it made him feel rejuvinated. He then proceeded to tell Chuck his business proposition, he wished to sell Mr. Norris' urine all over the world to tired people and alcoholics to make good drink combinations. Chuck was slightly apprehensive because he knew that the power of his urine was too great to consume in large doses. The Austrian entrepeneur, not without a resolve as strong as one of Chuck's roundhouse kicks, assured him that he would only sell the urine in an 8.3oz can, Chuck Norris realizing that this was an acceptable mortal human dosage consented, although he asked no direct references to his connection to the product be overtly placed on the can. The Austrian agreed.

Sales of this product have skyrocketed and many, MANY, imitators, including Mr. Segal, have come along trying to claim Chuck's fame, but the original is still the best. And imitation is the sincerest form of flattery as only Chuck's urine has been said to give one a set of wings.

We know Mr. Norris' urine fueled energy drink these days as: Red Bull

Predator86
09-05-2007, 03:53 PM
oh boy...i sense an onslaught of chuck norris jokes comin!

And on that note...they say that chuck norris dosent get frost-bite....instead he bites frost!:shock:

79T/A
09-07-2007, 11:27 AM
Apparently you don't know much about Chuck Norris. In the late 1990s Mr. Norris began bottling and imbibing his own urine on the set of Walker Texas Ranger as a quick pick-me-up between filming. The rest of the cast began noticing how the urine was pepping up Mr. Norris and they started having him bottling some for their use too. Eventually word of this slightly biting beverage made its way around the world until it reached a young entrepeneur from Austria heard about it and ventured to the set of the show. Once there he sameld some of Mr. Norris' urine and agreed that the flavor (or to him flavour) wasn't that bad and it made him feel rejuvinated. He then proceeded to tell Chuck his business proposition, he wished to sell Mr. Norris' urine all over the world to tired people and alcoholics to make good drink combinations. Chuck was slightly apprehensive because he knew that the power of his urine was too great to consume in large doses. The Austrian entrepeneur, not without a resolve as strong as one of Chuck's roundhouse kicks, assured him that he would only sell the urine in an 8.3oz can, Chuck Norris realizing that this was an acceptable mortal human dosage consented, although he asked no direct references to his connection to the product be overtly placed on the can. The Austrian agreed.

Sales of this product have skyrocketed and many, MANY, imitators, including Mr. Segal, have come along trying to claim Chuck's fame, but the original is still the best. And imitation is the sincerest form of flattery as only Chuck's urine has been said to give one a set of wings.

We know Mr. Norris' urine fueled energy drink these days as: Red Bull


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Excellent!

Maybe Seagal should give some of that energy drink to his career; it might be rejuvenated. :-P

79T/A
09-07-2007, 11:32 AM
As we're on the subject of Seagal, I now present to you, the entire script of the movie "Out For Justice." Some may remember this movie in which he plays Nino, a ponytailed NYPD detective sergeant who is...well, out for justice at the death of his partner.

Opening: Partner's shot dead. Richie did it.

Seagal: "Anybody see Richie?"

Fight scene

Seagal: "Anybody see Richie?"

Fight scene

Seagal: "Anybody see Richie?"

Gun fight. Fight scene.

Seagal: "Anybody see Richie?"

Yup...another fight scene.

Seagal: "Anybody see Richie?"

Big fight scene. Shots fired. More fighting. Corkscrew in Richie's skull.

Seagal's dog pees on someone.

End.

I believe he appeared on "Inside the Actor's Studio" after that one. :-P

Predator86
09-07-2007, 01:42 PM
remember when he asked if anyone saw richie?! i was on the edge of my seat wheew!

enRo
09-07-2007, 02:27 PM
Chuck Norris is the only man to defeat a wall in a game of tennis. True story.

Lt1_8U
09-07-2007, 02:30 PM
oh boy...i sense an onslaught of chuck norris jokes comin!

And on that note...they say that chuck norris dosent get frost-bite....instead he bites frost!:shock:

chuck norris doesn't sleep...he waits

98tadriver
09-07-2007, 03:56 PM
chuck norris doesn't sleep...he waits



chuck norris doesnt sleep with a nightlight because hes scared of the dark.....

the dark sleeps with a nightlight because its scared of chuck norris.

speaking of chuck, does anyone know where i can buy his streetbike setup from delta force? i wanna put something on the ninja. it looks too plain

Predator86
09-07-2007, 08:38 PM
i just saw his shirt at target and i couldnt help myself i had to buy it:shock:

http://i92.photobucket.com/albums/l20/Issues198/0907072134.jpg

oh ya and before monsters goto bed...they check under theyre bed for chuck norris

bubba428
09-07-2007, 08:48 PM
NOTHING beats http://www.tigerfitness.com/Monster_Assault_Drink.gif MMMMMMMMM so good
http://www.beveragewarehouse.com/search/thumbnail.php?im=/home/beverage/public_html/images/products/7224.jpgalso an excellent drink

WhiteTransAm
09-07-2007, 09:13 PM
when chuck norris does pushups hes not pushing himself up, hes pushing the world down :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

12secondv6
09-07-2007, 10:58 PM
Apparently you don't know much about Chuck Norris. In the late 1990s Mr. Norris began bottling and imbibing his own urine on the set of Walker Texas Ranger as a quick pick-me-up between filming. The rest of the cast began noticing how the urine was pepping up Mr. Norris and they started having him bottling some for their use too. Eventually word of this slightly biting beverage made its way around the world until it reached a young entrepeneur from Austria heard about it and ventured to the set of the show. Once there he sameld some of Mr. Norris' urine and agreed that the flavor (or to him flavour) wasn't that bad and it made him feel rejuvinated. He then proceeded to tell Chuck his business proposition, he wished to sell Mr. Norris' urine all over the world to tired people and alcoholics to make good drink combinations. Chuck was slightly apprehensive because he knew that the power of his urine was too great to consume in large doses. The Austrian entrepeneur, not without a resolve as strong as one of Chuck's roundhouse kicks, assured him that he would only sell the urine in an 8.3oz can, Chuck Norris realizing that this was an acceptable mortal human dosage consented, although he asked no direct references to his connection to the product be overtly placed on the can. The Austrian agreed.

Sales of this product have skyrocketed and many, MANY, imitators, including Mr. Segal, have come along trying to claim Chuck's fame, but the original is still the best. And imitation is the sincerest form of flattery as only Chuck's urine has been said to give one a set of wings.

We know Mr. Norris' urine fueled energy drink these days as: Red Bull

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

ar0ck
09-07-2007, 11:31 PM
That Monster Assault & Captain... yummy

Brando56894
09-09-2007, 08:40 PM
wow thats a pretty sad attempt at income, my roommate said he had it before and it was absolutely horrible. btw monster kaos ftw!! stuff is amazing, it doesnt even taste like an energy drink.

Predator86
09-10-2007, 09:30 AM
one hair from chucks beard is sharp enough to slice a diamond clean in half:shock:

ok im done i promise:nod: