Unbelievable!

[TheBandit]

Something crazy happened last night and I just have to talk about it.

So I was out with some friends last night when I get a text message from my girlfriend of 4 years that says some nasty, raunchy **** with a "can't wait to see you" and another guy's name. I was freaked out but with my friends, so stayed calm but I was fuming inside. My phone rings about 30 minutes later and she's telling me how her friend is drunk and thought it would be a funny joke. I could tell she sounded really freaked out but I played it off like everything was cool.

I rushed back to her house after leaving my friends early saying I didn't feel well, its 4 blocks from my home boy's when I pulled in I saw my next door neighbor kinda acting weird in his backyard, gave me an awkward "hello" and looked as if he had been running and walked from our low fence into his back door.

I suddenly started to rage inside, I'm not an idiot and I knew what was going on.. I always knew they flirted just a little too much and said things in front of me that had deeper meanings..

So anyways, I go FLYING in the front door with a huge SQUEAK noise, and I was wondering, should I just spray it with some WD-40 or is there a better way to get my door to stop squeaking?

[LTb1ow]

Oh?

[deadtrend1]

fail

[Featherburner]

Graphite, it will be good as new. :lol:

[LTb1ow]

You shoulda kicked down the door. That woulda been cool.

[sweetbmxrider]

booo

the newspaper one where the guy talks about fixing a car instead of a cheating person is much funnier

[miketa95]

turrible. Crazy knuckled headed turrible

[Jersyboyy]

i was all into it at first like yo lets go kick that dudes *** then it just got ghay

[Squirrel]

ctrl f'ed all key words and came up clear...will read

[FBODS4EVER]

???

[NJ Torque]

roundhouse kick.

[TheBandit]

Lol just reaction i thought. I read it on another forum and they all flamed him and just asked wtf he was saying. Im glad i got the same response.

[Jersyboyy]

Lol just reaction i thought. I read it on another forum and they all flamed him and just asked wtf he was saying. Im glad i got the same response.

ALLLLLLLLLL RIGHTY THENNNNN

[jims69camaro]

so i guess we're just like the rest of the world? good, because i was thinking we were weird and much different than all the other people in the world.

btw, wd-40 works wonders but doesn't have the longevity of graphite.

[Blacdout96]

so i guess we're just like the rest of the world? good, because i was thinking we were weird and much different than all the other people in the world.

btw, wd-40 works wonders but doesn't have the longevity of graphite.

X2. plus it doesnt give off as bad a smell, and makes internal parts operate smoother comparedto WD-40. we used to have to pull our front door hard to make it close, I took it apart, and sprayed the crap out of it with hobby graphite, you can close it with a finger now :D

[sweetbmxrider]

white lithium grease in a can. messy though.

:clap: way to experiment with our monkey asses

[Squirrel]

-"I like to use this product called 'I can't believe it's not Butter', because when im having toast i like to be incredulous"
-"How was breakfast?"
-"Unbelievable."

Name comedian go

[cdacda13]

^Seems like a Mitch Hedberg kinda joke.

[Knipps]

-"I like to use this product called 'I can't believe it's not Butter', because when im having toast i like to be incredulous"
-"How was breakfast?"
-"Unbelievable."

Name comedian go

just saw this thread, Demetri Martin FTMFW
I had a chance to go see the recording of his new CC special in NYC but I was in Boston :(

[2RARE84s]

Demetri Martin FTMFW


x10

Intelligent Comedians are hard to find these days!

[DaSkinnyGuy]

i read it over and the 2nd time and then i started to laugh i got it

[Knipps]

x10

Intelligent Comedians are hard to find these days!

“Dammit I’m mad.
Evil is a deed as I live.
God, am I reviled? I rise, my bed on a sun, I melt.
To be not one man emanating is sad. I piss.
Alas, it is so late. Who stops to help?
Man, it is hot. I’m in it. I tell.
I am not a devil. I level “Mad Dog”.
Ah, say burning is, as a deified gulp,
In my halo of a mired rum tin.
I erase many men. Oh, to be man, a sin.
Is evil in a clam? In a trap?
No. It is open. On it I was stuck.
Rats peed on hope. Elsewhere dips a web.
Be still if I fill its ebb.
Ew, a spider… eh?
We sleep. Oh no!
Deep, stark cuts saw it in one position.
Part animal, can I live? Sin is a name.
Both, one… my names are in it.
Murder? I’m a fool.
A hymn I plug, deified as a sign in ruby ash.
A Goddam level I lived at.
On mail let it in. I’m it.
Oh, sit in ample hot spots. Oh wet!
A loss it is alas (sip). I’d assign it a name.N
ame not one bottle minus an ode by me:
“Sir, I deliver. I’m a dog”
Evil is a deed as I live.
Dammit I’m mad.

The man's a genius. He dropped out of law school to be a comedian :lol:

[2RARE84s]

The man's a genius. He dropped out of law school to be a comedian :lol:

I know!! that's what makes it all the better!

Here's a link so people can know what we are talking about! Demitri Martin (http://video.google.com/videosearch?hl=en&resnum=0&q=demetri+martin&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=X&oi=video_result_group&resnum=4&ct=title#)

[Teds89IROC]

btw, wd-40 works wonders but doesn't have the longevity of graphite.

QFT

[deadtrend1]

ohhhh, I seen this dude before. I think it was this video too.

Thought it was pretty funny.