WildBillyT
10-05-2010, 01:08 PM
Probably old. Still funny.
Everything I Needed to Know In Life I Learned From the Fast and the Furious:
1. You need NAWS. Two bottles. The big ones.
2. It ain't how you stand by your car, it's how big the wing is.
3. The buster brings you back.
4. You can have any beer, as long as it's Corona.
5. If the road suddenly narrows, drive under a truck.
6. Practice pre-race skills with Gran Turismo.
7. Even the cops in L.A. are Hollywood.
8. No one likes the tuna.
9. Big wing = big speed.
10. Amateurs don't use NAWS.
11. Never narc nobody.
12. Stickers, stickers, stickers.
13. Winning's winning.
14. Stand alone fuel management system.
15. Break her heart, get neck broke.
16. Leopard-skin pants make you badass.
17. Live life a quarter mile at a time (-17 seconds).
18. L.A. cops respond to one emergency at a time with the entire police force.
19. You can never have enough foglights.
20. Only asians, latinos, and blacks street-race; everyone else is an undercover cop.
21. Win race, get threesome.
22. Shooting a MAC-11 from a motorcycle isn't easy.
23. Ramming a charger with a motorcycle hurts.
24. Oil tastes bad.
25. Pizza boys don't like street racers.
26. Stay out of asian turf and don't sleep with their sisters.
27. The Fed with the loudest voice can pin it on whoever he wants.
28. Stealing Apex DVD players is lucrative.
29. The proper display of affection with a bald man is kissing his head.
30. Cuban restaurants are called 'Cha-Cha-Cha'.
31. Truckers never carry guns (almost).
32. Truckers don't know how to use brakes.
33. It's not a color unless it begins with neon.
34. Car part stores give Lightnings to delivery boys.
35. Fire bursting from tail pipe indicates speed.
36. High-pitched buzzing exhaust indicates speed.
37. Single winshield-wiper? Ditto.
38. Hoods and bodykits do not need paint.
39. It's not the train that gets you, its the truck.
40. Ugly paint is not a bad way to spend $10,000.
41. Overuse of nitrous makes the floorboard fall off.
42. Dual tailpipes are good, quad tailpipes are better.
43. CAI adds 50 hp.
44. Exhaust adds 150 hp.
45. If you scream "NAWS!", it will explode.
46. Ferarris are more than you can afford, pal.
47. You can beat any car if you say "Smoke 'em" before you run.
48. Any scrap-heap can be made race-ready in under a week if the parts are ordered from Ja-pan.
49. Computer-controlled nitrous kits require a laptop.
50. Owning a supressed MAC-11 is a minor weapons violation.
51. And whatever you do, don't blow the welds on the intake manifold.
Everything I Needed to Know In Life I Learned From the Fast and the Furious:
1. You need NAWS. Two bottles. The big ones.
2. It ain't how you stand by your car, it's how big the wing is.
3. The buster brings you back.
4. You can have any beer, as long as it's Corona.
5. If the road suddenly narrows, drive under a truck.
6. Practice pre-race skills with Gran Turismo.
7. Even the cops in L.A. are Hollywood.
8. No one likes the tuna.
9. Big wing = big speed.
10. Amateurs don't use NAWS.
11. Never narc nobody.
12. Stickers, stickers, stickers.
13. Winning's winning.
14. Stand alone fuel management system.
15. Break her heart, get neck broke.
16. Leopard-skin pants make you badass.
17. Live life a quarter mile at a time (-17 seconds).
18. L.A. cops respond to one emergency at a time with the entire police force.
19. You can never have enough foglights.
20. Only asians, latinos, and blacks street-race; everyone else is an undercover cop.
21. Win race, get threesome.
22. Shooting a MAC-11 from a motorcycle isn't easy.
23. Ramming a charger with a motorcycle hurts.
24. Oil tastes bad.
25. Pizza boys don't like street racers.
26. Stay out of asian turf and don't sleep with their sisters.
27. The Fed with the loudest voice can pin it on whoever he wants.
28. Stealing Apex DVD players is lucrative.
29. The proper display of affection with a bald man is kissing his head.
30. Cuban restaurants are called 'Cha-Cha-Cha'.
31. Truckers never carry guns (almost).
32. Truckers don't know how to use brakes.
33. It's not a color unless it begins with neon.
34. Car part stores give Lightnings to delivery boys.
35. Fire bursting from tail pipe indicates speed.
36. High-pitched buzzing exhaust indicates speed.
37. Single winshield-wiper? Ditto.
38. Hoods and bodykits do not need paint.
39. It's not the train that gets you, its the truck.
40. Ugly paint is not a bad way to spend $10,000.
41. Overuse of nitrous makes the floorboard fall off.
42. Dual tailpipes are good, quad tailpipes are better.
43. CAI adds 50 hp.
44. Exhaust adds 150 hp.
45. If you scream "NAWS!", it will explode.
46. Ferarris are more than you can afford, pal.
47. You can beat any car if you say "Smoke 'em" before you run.
48. Any scrap-heap can be made race-ready in under a week if the parts are ordered from Ja-pan.
49. Computer-controlled nitrous kits require a laptop.
50. Owning a supressed MAC-11 is a minor weapons violation.
51. And whatever you do, don't blow the welds on the intake manifold.