Anyone ever have to place a loved one in a nursing home or assisted living facility?

[V]

Anyone ever have to place a loved one in a nursing home or assisted living facility?

if so, please PM me if you are willing to talk about it.

[Anti_Rice_Guy]

:nod:

[WildBillyT]

Yes. Last year. Not fun.

[V]

Im trying to get back to NJ to help my mom with it, its just something i never thought id have to face, or at least this soon.

and like i said, anyone willing to alk, PM me, being that its a touchy subject, ill let people contact me on their experience

[emolineaux]

i havent had to yet. but i work at one and i see it every day. been there for 3 years so ive seen all sorts of issues between familys and loved ones

[V]

i remember going to a nursing home back in the early-mid 90s for my grandfather at first(passed around '93), then for my grandmother who passed in 1997.
I just hated going, you'd see people just sitting in the wheelchairs along the sides of the hallways, its seemed so very depressing to me. Everyone seemed so forgotten about and neglected. Are all places like that or is that just a thing of the past?

I cant even imagine how it is for a spouse to have to deal with admitting a lifelong love into a place like this.

[Mike]

not all places are like that, but no, its also not a thing of the past.

[Jensend]

The issue is a combination of appropriate care and quality of life. People whose health or state of mind require continual monitoring or treatment are not likely to benefit from staying at home or under the care of family. The skills and facilities available in home to families- no matter how devoted, are insufficient to deal with many problems and issues. This is also a limiting factor both in the lives of those being cared for and those giving the care. Trying to deal with progressive degenerative illness at home usually impairs and limits the quality of life for all involved. Take it for what it's worth, but that's what we've learned from personal experience over the last 12 years. Doing what's right for all involved is a difficult, complex decision, but common sense and sound judgment serve you better than emotion in these circumstances. I wish you good judgment and good luck.

[V]

The issue is a combination of appropriate care and quality of life. People whose health or state of mind require continual monitoring or treatment are not likely to benefit from staying at home or under the care of family. The skills and facilities available in home to families- no matter how devoted, are insufficient to deal with many problems and issues. This is also a limiting factor both in the lives of those being cared for and those giving the care. Trying to deal with progressive degenerative illness at home usually impairs and limits the quality of life for all involved. Take it for what it's worth, but that's what we've learned from personal experience over the last 12 years. Doing what's right for all involved is a difficult, complex decision, but common sense and sound judgment serve you better than emotion in these circumstances. I wish you good judgment and good luck.


you got all the issues addressed that we are facing. Hence the inability for home care anymore.

[The Fixer]

PM sent.

[V]

well as of now, a regular nursing home will not take him due to the fact he often needs to be restrained.... :-(

[V]

He got in a local one, no restraints needed anymore hopefully. But thankfully it should just be temporary until the correct his meds.

[greenformula92]

i know what you are going through, cause i am too. it's tough

[BonzoHansen]

Sucks. We are going through this with my Dad (86). Another problem is paying for it.