:funny:

you beat me to it!!!!!!!

my friend Karl does that **** to me all the time!!!!

oh yeah, another one.. any time me or one of my friends goes to meet up with our friend jay, EVERY time, if we're not there 5 minutes before we said we would be, he calls up and goes 'yo, where ya at?' 'i'm on my ****ing way man!'

jay, if you read this, sorry.... :p

*pssst* like numbers 1 through 9 on the list? they were originally carlin material. not that they're not funny. i love carlin's stuff. speaking of which, your house is just a place to put your stuff.

I've got tix for Carlin on Sunday in Trenton. 8-)

Carlin: The average person is this stupid. That means that half the people you meet at stupider than that!

Oh, I've got one. Today in Beatles class were were about to take a quiz, and thus instructed to put everything away. well the guy next to me is freaking out cuz he doesnt have a pen, and he wouldnt go in his bookbag and look for one. So i reach in my purse, and hand him a pen. When the quiz was over, he held it up to me, and said, "Is this yours?" WTF DUDE! I Just handed it to you, out of my purse no less, and you're not sure if it's mine! of COURSE it is! Idiot.

like on blue collar comedy when they do that "here's your sign" stuff...i like the one where he's using a coat hanger to open his car, a guy walks up to him and asks "lock yourself out of your car?" and he goes "nope, i just washed it...i'm hanging it up to dry"

that's pretty much the first thing that came to mind when the kid asked if the pen was mine. "No, I just thought I'd do a little magic trick for you and make one appear"

when someone calls and they are talking for a while, then they ask, "what are you doing?"

brain surgery. can i call you back?