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-   -   SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE (http://www.njfboa.org/forums/showthread.php?t=21690)

johnjzjz 11-17-2006 08:08 AM

SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE
 
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE hahahaahahahh -- jz

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts! ?

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
45 lbs

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and
good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

! What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of
driving.

Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?
Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?
Everyone has the same DNA.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on
Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the
other?
A speech impediment

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at
half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A northern zoo has a description of the animal on the cage... A southern
zoo has a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale
begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..."

Why is there no Disneyland in China ?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

NJSPEEDER 11-17-2006 08:20 AM

lol
nice list

Tru2Chevy 11-17-2006 08:51 AM

Lol.....funny stuff

- Justin

foff667 11-17-2006 09:54 AM

nice

Knipps 11-17-2006 11:03 AM

:lol:
good list

firehawk1120 11-17-2006 11:58 AM

kinda funny, REALLY OLD, but kinda funny... ;)

baddest434 11-17-2006 12:43 PM

very good but you left out.. whats it say on the inside of a "brothers bottom lip?"

















inflate to 16 lbs. :lol:

camaro2you 11-17-2006 02:37 PM

lmfao.

Fast92RS 11-17-2006 03:53 PM

:lol: nice

Brando56894 11-17-2006 05:25 PM

:rofl: that was pretty good

BlackBADaSS02 11-17-2006 07:32 PM

:rofl:

slasherbarb 11-20-2006 01:49 PM

as a comedian i approve!!! :dancing: i would throw some in there but they are kind of too racially charged...

Brando56894 11-20-2006 03:11 PM

do eeet!

Teds89IROC 11-20-2006 04:11 PM

:lol:

Tru2Chevy 11-21-2006 02:59 PM

Can't have that guys......

- Justin

79CamaroDiva 11-21-2006 03:28 PM

:twak:

Ian 11-21-2006 06:19 PM

barb, who would you or anyone for that matter, listen to anything Brandon says?

Brando56894 11-21-2006 06:57 PM

:werd:

even i dont listen to what i say!

Tsar 11-21-2006 07:43 PM

who deleted all the racial jokes? those were funny :lol:

IROCdan330 11-21-2006 07:46 PM

i had a feeling that someone would be stepping in...


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