Originally Posted by Faux News

Doctors and researchers around the globe are celebrating the success of a groundbreaking new surgery that will change the way the human race grows and evolves well into the 21st century. No longer are we constrained by human genetic material that forces us to **** from behind. Now, with groundbreaking new ass resassignment surgery you can have your posterior moved around to the front of your body, therefore allowing an individual to defecate out of his or her belly button- defeating age-old hygiene issues and providing relief to those suffering through the dingleberry crisis of 2011. The first recipient of the procedure is shown here after losing a bet surrounding a cue ball and a case of Schlitz.