[Blacdout96]

Some say he appears on high value stamps in Sweden, and that he can catch fish with his tongue

Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves

Some say that his breath smells of magnesium, and that he’s scared of bells

Some say that he lives in a tree, and that his sweat can be used to clean precious metals

Some say that his heart ticks like a watch, and that he’s confused by stairs

Some say that his voice can only be heard by cats, and that he has two sets of knees

Some say that he’s terrified of ducks, and that there’s an airport in Russia named after him

Some say his skin has the texture of a dolphin’s, and that wherever you are in the world if you tune your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts

Some say that his tears are adhesive, and that if he caught fire he’d burn for a thousand days

Some say that his heart is in upside down, and that his teeth glow in the dark

Some say that his genitals are on upside down, and that if he could be bothered he could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds

Some say that the outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nurburg ring, and that if you give him a really important job to do, he’ll skive off and play croquet

Some say that on really warm days he sheds his skin like a snake, and that for some reason he’s allergic to the Dutch

Some say that his first name really is The, and that if he went on Celebrity Love Island they’d all be pregnant including the cameramen

Some say that he once threw a microwave oven at a tramp, and that long before anyone else he realised that Jade Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs

Some say that he sucks the moisture from ducks, and that his crash helmet is modelled on Britney Spears’ head

Some say he isn’t machine washable, and all his potted plants are called Steve

Some say his scrotum has its own small gravity field

Some say he gets terrible ezcema on his helmet

Some say to unlock him you have to run your finger down his face

Some say he thought Star Wars was a documentry

Some say he knows two facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong

Some say when he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks

Some say he once did some time in a prison in Canterbury because his teddy is called "The Baby Jesus"...

Some say that after making love, he bites the head of his partner, and that he's had to give up binge-drinking now that it 's got to £1.18 a litre

Some say that each of his toenails are exactly the same as a woman's nipples. And that he thinks the credit crunch is some kind of breakfast cereal

Some say his droppings have been found as far north as York. And that he has a full-size tattoo of his face - on his face

Some say it's impossible for him to wear socks. And he can open a beer bottle with his testes

Some say that he sleeps inside out, and that he once had full sex with Russell Brand's answering machine

Some say that he has the world's largest collection of pornographical material

Some say that he invented November.

Some say one of his legs get longer when he sees a pretty lady. And that I haven't done one of these for some time and I've forgotten to make up a second thing

...All we know is, he's called The Stig!