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01-26-2006, 09:40 PM
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#1
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14 Second Club
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Fair Lawn
Posts: 2,077
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Chuck Norris...
1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard.
4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"
8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you.
9. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".
11. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
12. When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck said, "Don't worry about it honey, " and went into his backyard. He came back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."
13. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
14. Chuck Norris once tried to sue Burger King after they refused to put razor wire in his Whopper Jr., insisting that that actually is "his" way.
__________________
2011 Camaro
2012 JKU with Pink wheels
2015 Hellcat 6spd
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01-26-2006, 09:53 PM
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#2
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Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Little Egg Harbor NJ
Posts: 1,175
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2011 Camaro 1SS Cyber Grey Metallic
2005 Silverado
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01-26-2006, 10:32 PM
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#3
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perth Amboy
Posts: 2,307
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__________________
Billy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by 88ta5spd
BTW - Bottles are for babies, real men get blown. that is all
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- R.I.P. Buddy List 1/21/06 - 5/3/06...we knew you well.
- Pancake Bunny Club Member #1 
- F the Plane! - Member #3
I979CamaroDiva: im in my own little zoon
I979CamaroDiva: zone even
lostsoul1006: lmao
I979CamaroDiva: wtf is a zoon
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01-27-2006, 12:24 AM
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#4
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Banned Camp Director Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 8,395
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chuck norris sucks! and guess what? he's not gonna magically appear and roundhouse kick me in the face. in fact, most of the kicks he throws arent even roundhouses!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by baddest434
and 1 more smart ass answer by you and i'm going to reach into this monitor and grab you by the throat
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01-28-2006, 03:12 PM
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#5
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NJFBOA Co-Founder
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: All up in your kool aid!
Posts: 12,235
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chuck norris = worm food.
that is all
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01-28-2006, 03:31 PM
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#6
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13 Second Club
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Netcong, NJ
Posts: 5,799
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Sean Connery > Chuck Norris
__________________
2019 Toyota Tacoma TRD Pro ... M6, Voodoo Blue Fun Machine
1987 Pontiac Trans Am ... 305 TPI, T5, Project Car
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01-28-2006, 04:01 PM
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#7
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Stalker
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 12,080
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chuck norris=annoying...'nuff said, end of topic, lol
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01-28-2006, 04:03 PM
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#8
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Edison
Posts: 7,856
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by SmokingSS
chuck norris=annoying...'nuff said, end of topic, lol
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__________________
1984 Firebird
2000 Z28
2023 Tacoma
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01-28-2006, 04:26 PM
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#9
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Banned Camp Director Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 8,395
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The whole chuck norris thing was funny the first time I found out about it, but now that everyone and their mothers is constantly talking about it, its really annoying.
*edit*
this whole thing will probably end up just like the macarena, who let the dogs out, the thighmaster and all those other things that were everywhere and now you couldnt find them if your life depended on it.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by baddest434
and 1 more smart ass answer by you and i'm going to reach into this monitor and grab you by the throat
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Last edited by Ian; 01-28-2006 at 04:28 PM.
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01-28-2006, 06:03 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Edison
Posts: 7,856
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They still play the electric slide! we listen to it in wood shop 
__________________
1984 Firebird
2000 Z28
2023 Tacoma
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01-28-2006, 06:27 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Perth Amboy
Posts: 2,307
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by WayFast84
They still play the electric slide! we listen to it in wood shop |
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?! 
that is nothing to be proud of.
__________________
Billy
Quote:
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Originally Posted by 88ta5spd
BTW - Bottles are for babies, real men get blown. that is all
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- R.I.P. Buddy List 1/21/06 - 5/3/06...we knew you well.
- Pancake Bunny Club Member #1
- F the Plane! - Member #3
I979CamaroDiva: im in my own little zoon
I979CamaroDiva: zone even
lostsoul1006: lmao
I979CamaroDiva: wtf is a zoon
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01-28-2006, 06:30 PM
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#12
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Edison
Posts: 7,856
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yeah I know...but everyone actually does it...Im like wtf and cut some wood with the chop saw!
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1984 Firebird
2000 Z28
2023 Tacoma
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01-28-2006, 06:38 PM
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#13
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Co-Founder / Site Admin
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 22,476
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Quote:
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Originally Posted by BigDaddyKane
Sean Connery > Chuck Norris
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- Justin
__________________
1999 Camry - Beigemobile DD
2002 Suburban - Wife's DD
2004 Grand Cherokee - Not running / Project / Selling?
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01-28-2006, 07:07 PM
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#14
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Banned Camp Director Emeritus
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Somerset County
Posts: 8,395
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my jeep > chuck norris
and thats saying something!!!
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by baddest434
and 1 more smart ass answer by you and i'm going to reach into this monitor and grab you by the throat
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