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Old 01-05-2007, 06:41 PM   #1
johnjzjz
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Corzine Liberals V Conservatives

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.
The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. ( The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.) These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals and
2. Conservatives

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night, while they were drinking beer and smoking cigars. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hair dressing ( eating the bugs ) This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girliemen. oh you forgot they dont want a god reference and its all what ever i think --

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the
invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass. --- ya think ---

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish, but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.

Another interesting evolutionary side note: Most liberal women have higher
testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury
attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.

Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the
pitcher also bat.

One the other hand Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women.

Conservative s are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, High end medical doctors, police officers, Honest corporate executives, athletes, US Service men , and generally anyone who works productively and don't live of others.


Conservatives who own companies hire other conservative thinking people who want to work for a living and do right by others. abortion clinic comes to mind non are owned buy conservatives it goes against being a human.


Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Corzine comes to mind , Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America.

They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing, and you know the rest of that story .


Here ends today's lesson in world history: something they dont let you see in school today ,

It should be noted that most Liberals may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above, personal attacks are the rule


A Conservative will simply laugh, of the absolute truth this history , guna love the to hear what some will say -- jz
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Old 01-05-2007, 09:45 PM   #2
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nice find john.. i dont jump in political threads so ill keep all that nonsense to myself. but i still got a good laugh.
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Old 01-07-2007, 12:20 AM   #3
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Wink

Sorry to hi-jack this thread, but wanted to say HI! to Melissa...I'll be sending you something in the mail here in a few days.

On the liberal thing...being from the mid-west...you know I agree with you!
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Old 01-07-2007, 01:18 AM   #4
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Haha, I love jokes about politics like that. They make me feel sane.
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Old 01-07-2007, 06:24 PM   #5
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I am in no way, shape or form a conservative, but I think thats hilarious!
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and 1 more smart ass answer by you and i'm going to reach into this monitor and grab you by the throat
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Old 01-08-2007, 03:52 PM   #6
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Hilarious! lmao
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Is English your 2nd language? Did you graduate high school? Your posts make my head hurt.
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