The Fancy Tissues - NJFBOA - Home of New Jersey's Camaros and Firebirds

PBodyGT87 · 03-20-2006, 10:16 PM

Well, If you are all familiar with my previous post entitled, "the cookies" here comes another edition of ewing crew stories, coming from deep within the basement of the house of our good admin, Justin (tru2chevy).

So while we sat and laughed at old pictures that Justin had stored on his computer (and that's "we" as in Tim (njspeeder), Karen (MylittlePony... Justin's gf) and myself) I thought about getting a pack of strawberry fruit chews from the plentiful stash of snacks that Justin has accumulated. However, I had just been chewing a rather fresh piece of delicious orbit gum, and as many of you must know, the taste of mint mixed with strawberry fruit chews is just plain.... yucky. I looked around for a place to spit it out, as the garbage pail in Justin's room was not yet suitable for sticky pieces of waste, such as a chewed piece of gum, due to the lack of garbage bag within the pail. Only dry waste contents are allowed.

But alas! Justin did indeed have a box of tissues nearby, and I plucked one from the box, politely spit my gum into it, and wrapped the gum up in the tissue, getting ready to dispose of it, when Justin suddenly paused his commentary on the digital photos. Justin turned to me with a perplexed facial expression. I was stunned, and so I did not move. What could I have possibly done wrong?

"You used my fancy tissues to spit your gum into!" Justin said.

I, not knowing that tissues could ever be fancy, was suddenly taken aback. I thought that such fancy tissues were called handkerchiefs. But the only thing that I had used was a soft Kleenex, probably made from bleached recycled paper filings.

"Those tissues are anti-viral! Look at the little blue dots on them! SEE??" said Justin.

I took notice of the strangely patterned blue dots imprinted on the white tissues, and thought, "what if they are just there for decoration? the company has fooled the consumer yet again! But oh no, they are anti-viral dots, which are thus very expensive, and too precious for me to have spitteth my gum into.

Nevertheless, I nervously began to use the same tissue of which I wrapped my gum in, to frantically wipe my nose, AND MY NOSE WAS NOT RUNNING. (and if it was, I am far low on stamina to run after it. Haha...okay badjokemovingon!!!)

"Good girl" said Justin.

I threw away the tissue. But wait! Why in H, E, DOUBLEHOCKEYSTICKS, does one need anti-viral tissues NEXT TO THEIR BED. And why, WHY are they so expensive as to not be used for spitting gum into?

Needless to say, based upon the above question, we all began to laugh wildly, again, but no cookies were involved this time. I said, "They have soap for that sort of thing, Justin" and Tim replied, "But soap doesn't absorb anything!"

What Justin may need to absorb with these tissues, other than snot, sorry, mucous from nasal membranes, is beyond me (or is it?). No, I'd just rather leave that thinking up to you, the reader. And again, thanks for being a member of NJFBOA, and organization formed by the very same possibly socially inept, interweb addicted people you have just read about.

Thanks for reading this entire thing as well, I know it was long, it must have pained you. But, too bad.

With love to my fellow members,
Liz.

Tru2Chevy · 03-20-2006, 10:21 PM

Side note, this is also where my new sig quote from Tim came from.

- Justin

Ian · 03-20-2006, 10:24 PM

yeah, wtf do you anti-viral tissues for? I never used them and look at me!

oh one ls1 SS · 03-20-2006, 10:35 PM

wow.. u sure can write a good story haha but anyway if these tissues are ssooo important..should they have a note or something special on there stating that they are for nose usage anyway

Savage_Messiah · 03-20-2006, 10:39 PM

...

turbo96z28 · 03-20-2006, 11:33 PM

anti-viral.................

interesting........

did you make the Liz noise when he stopped you?

"ahhh"

V · 03-21-2006, 02:16 AM

...now im positive...there is something severly wrong with central jersey people... haha

btw, liz, are you by any chance persuing a creative writing career? You're stories make for some good reading. lol

Ian · 03-21-2006, 05:55 AM

pretty sure she's going for music.

and its not all of central jersey, just that damn 609 area code

908 is still normal 8)

PBodyGT87 · 03-21-2006, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokingSS

...now im positive...there is something severly wrong with central jersey people... haha

btw, liz, are you by any chance persuing a creative writing career? You're stories make for some good reading. lol

Thanks! I actually thought about going into creative writing, and sometimes I think I should have done that, instead of doing music, or maybe just do both? Anyhow, I have taken creative writing courses before and I do enjoy writing. While this is definitely not my best little piece of work, hehe, the concept for writing a good story is really simple. Never start a sentence with the same word more than once, and never use the word "it", use it only once in a story if you have to. It calls for more descriptive words thus making the story more detailed and entertaining. This is also a great method to use when writing papers, cuz it gets me an A every time. I don't think I followed most of those rules in this story but, it was close.

BigAls87Z28 · 03-21-2006, 07:32 AM

Yet another adventure told by Liz, in the mystical land of Justin's basment.

Tru2Chevy · 03-21-2006, 09:04 AM

Since when did the dungeon become a mystical land?

- Justin

79CamaroDiva · 03-21-2006, 09:28 AM

since you got anti viral tissues, you can't have them in a dungeon

Tru2Chevy · 03-21-2006, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 79CamaroDiva

since you got anti viral tissues, you can't have them in a dungeon

Why not? Viruses would prolly spread quickly in a dungeon without them....

- Justin

WayFast84 · 03-21-2006, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ian

pretty sure she's going for music.

and its not all of central jersey, just that damn 609 area code

908 is still normal 8)

QFT

BigAls87Z28 · 03-21-2006, 11:42 AM

Anti-viral tissues and cookies....sounds like a mystical place to me.

and double werd on the 609 thing. You mofo's be weird.

turbo96z28 · 03-21-2006, 12:07 PM

732 FTW!!!!!!!!

79CamaroDiva · 03-21-2006, 12:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SmokingSS

btw, liz, are you by any chance persuing a creative writing career? You're stories make for some good reading. lol

its even better if you've HEARD liz tell a story, because as one is reading, liz speak can be heard in the back of one's head. a creepy yet funny sensation.

BigAls87Z28 · 03-21-2006, 12:21 PM

Werd, Im repp'n the 732 and 908. HOLLLLLLLLA!!

Tru2Chevy · 03-21-2006, 01:28 PM

After Liz typed it up she read it aloud to us, and it was almost as funny then as it was when it actually happened.

Liz has a good storyteller voice.

- Justin

Savage_Messiah · 03-21-2006, 01:51 PM

on the storytelling

I'm repping 201 and 973... but 201 FTW.

enRo · 03-21-2006, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Savage_Messiah

on the storytelling

I'm repping 201 and 973... but 201 FTW.

... actually, my area is 973, 201, and 862

[marshmellow roasting]Good story-telling. [/marshmellow roasting]

camaro2you · 03-21-2006, 03:48 PM

interesting story lol.

NJSPEEDER · 03-21-2006, 03:59 PM

those who have enjoyed the opportunity to attend a basement function can certainly understand the level of humor we enjoy. cheap shots are welcomed, a joke that makes everyone cringe is jsut as good as one that makes them laugh hysterically, and even the smallest social quirk will end in someone ripping on you.
good times