My job gets stranger every day...

[skorpion317]

I swear to God, if I have to deal with any more days like today, I'm gonna kill someone.

I work at A&P. I'm a cashier/front-end manager. We're the last people a customer deals with. My theory is that the sliding metal entrance doors are some kind of IQ vortex. They suck up any intelligence a customer had before they walked into the store. Albert Einstein could walk into the store, and he'd be reduced to a drooling vegetable.

We get our fair share of special-ed rejects during the week, but more so on Sundays, since everyone and their mother wants to go shopping on that day. During my shift today, a man was accused of stealing two boxes of Zantac 75 (heartburn medicine, one box costs like $13). He became belligerent as the store manager questioned him about the missing boxes. The guy said "Fine! You want me to prove it to you?! I'll strip down and show you!" and then he took his clothes off down to his underwear Imagine seeing a 30-year old guy standing in his underwear in the grocery store. Turns out he didn't have the stuff.

After that incident, I had to drive a female co-worker home. she's younger than me (i'm 20, she's 17), and she's kinda immature. I drop her off at her house, and hang out for a little while. She turns on the TV to some country music station, and starts singing and dancing along with the music. Then she starts asking me weird questions, like whether I'm a virgin, and do I smoke weed. I'm like "WTF?! where did that come from." needless to say, I got out of there quickly.

This is just a sampling of the idiocy i put up with. There's much more I have to deal with. I hate this job....if it wasn't for some of the cooler people that work there, I'd have quit already.

and to top if all off, I went to church tonite...this one woman left early. I was sitting in the back, because i'd gotten there late. the woman stops, turns around to look out the window towards the altar, and promptly rips ass in front of me Again, another "WTF?!" moment. this woman was in her 50's. She quickly left, leaving me to wonder "Who the hell audibly farts in church?"

[ProtekYoNutz]

DAMN!!! i feel bad for u...lol

[DaytonaDan]

Oh man you want some really stupid people, try workin at starbucks...especially when i worked in princeton (i just transfered to somerset and the people there arent as bad...yet) Some of the questions i get are things like "so is there any coffee in your Carmel Frappacino blended coffees?" Or "can i have a mocha without any espresso in it?" yea you can, its called a hot chocolate I've had even worse than those but those two have happened recently.

And if that woman ripped one in front of me i would have been like "HEY, farting in church makes baby jesus cry"

[misterjuice]

Try working at any customer service call center..............

Thank god I got promoted to supervisor...... mucho bling bling for me. I no longer have to take calls on a regular basis.

[NJSPEEDER]

Originally Posted by skorpion317

After that incident, I had to drive a female co-worker home. she's younger than me (i'm 20, she's 17), and she's kinda immature. I drop her off at her house, and hang out for a little while. She turns on the TV to some country music station, and starts singing and dancing along with the music. Then she starts asking me weird questions, like whether I'm a virgin, and do I smoke weed. I'm like "WTF?! where did that come from." needless to say, I got out of there quickly.

did you at least find otu when she turns 18? that could be some useful information for ya in the next few months

later
tim

[Slow Z]

I worked in a Liquor store during my highschool days ...THAT was the place to be for hilarious customers, I assure you. I've seen some of the most craziest **** while "working" there.

[skorpion317]

Originally Posted by NJSPEEDER

did you at least find otu when she turns 18? that could be some useful information for ya in the next few months

later
tim

turns 18 august 5th. found that out quickly.

[skorpion317]

Originally Posted by Slow Z

I worked in a Liquor store during my highschool days ...THAT was the place to be for hilarious customers, I assure you. I've seen some of the most craziest **** while "working" there.

the customers that come into my work aren't hilarious. they're rude and obnoxious, and often don't have enough intelligence to pick their nose, let alone interact with other people. Just once, I wish I'd get someone who wasn't a problem.

My biggest pet peeve at work are two groups of people: Old people and middle-aged soccer moms. Why do they irritate me? two words: paper bags. I hate them. Paper bags take up time and space during the transaction. I like to just toss the **** in a plastic bag and get the customer out quickly. But nooooo....these morons HAVE to have their paper bags. It's like an addiction...I'll have 3/4 of their order done in plastic, and they'll ask me "oh, can you put the rest in paper?" there's 5 friggin items left, but they have to have the goddamn paper bag. Old people are even worse, because not only do they have to have a paper bag, it's gotta be packed lightly. If the bag weighs any more than like 5 lbs., they start huffing and puffing, acting like it's the heaviest thing they've ever lifted. One woman does this constantly, whether the bag is heavy or not. she'll put the bag in her cart, stop and rest, breathing heavily and saying "Oh god" over and over again, like she just ran a marathon or dead-lifted 300 lbs. The old people that ask for paper but don't ask me to pack lightly get a little surprise....the first bag weighs nearly 50 lbs. it's my little form of revenge for asking for paper.

Soccer moms always have HUGE orders, like two carts worth of crap, and they always want paper bags. the whole order can take up to 20 minutes or more because of the time it takes to use the paper bags. I hate seeing them come into my lane because i know it's gonna be a PITA. also, they bring along their screaming kids, who can't sit still for more than 3 seconds, and who won't stop screaming no matter what. There's been times when I've wanted to yell at a kid to shut the **** up, and give the little **** a backhand across the face. Obviously, I can't do that, but these kids deserve it, the way they act.

ok, rant over.

[BlueFBird]

i use the self checkout at pathmark. im nasty at it

[ProtekYoNutz]

Originally Posted by BlueFBird

i use the self checkout at pathmark. im nasty at it

im manager of the ones at shop rite in ewing....god i hate working those things and having idiots not know how to listen to verbal commands!!

[BigAls87Z28]

Please, that aint nothing. I have to deal with customers that thing I am trying to bend them over at every deal. People coming to me wanting 4 tires for under 100 bucks, and people that think 19.99 is way too much for an oil change.
I even go out there to show them the problem, as per Sears's policy, and they STILL dont belive me. Like I am making **** up.
Then I get people that walk into my store, and ask do we sell tires or batteries? HELLOOOOOO DID YOU NOT SEE TEH 100FT WALL OF TIRES AND BATTERIES ON THE WAY IN!!
And people need to understand that Sears is not a McDonalds where you place an order. We are the profesionals, at least most of us are, and we will let you know what you need. If you chose not to take our advice is up to you.
Then, I have to deal with techs that most of the time dont want to work! I dont want to sit there and get beat up by customers all day, but I have to because its my job. Its there job to put on tires, do oil changes, and look at brakes.

Trust me, if all you have to worry about are 17 year old chicks coming on to you and people dropping trow, you are good to go.

[ar0ck]

Originally Posted by skorpion317

My theory is that the sliding metal entrance doors are some kind of IQ vortex. They suck up any intelligence a customer had before they walked into the store. Albert Einstein could walk into the store, and he'd be reduced to a drooling vegetable.

Originally Posted by skorpion317

After that incident, I had to drive a female co-worker home. she's younger than me (i'm 20, she's 17), and she's kinda immature. I drop her off at her house, and hang out for a little while. She turns on the TV to some country music station, and starts singing and dancing along with the music. Then she starts asking me weird questions, like whether I'm a virgin, and do I smoke weed. I'm like "WTF?! where did that come from." needless to say, I got out of there quickly.

Minus the smoke weed part

[skorpion317]

Originally Posted by BigAls87Z28

Please, that aint nothing. I have to deal with customers that thing I am trying to bend them over at every deal. People coming to me wanting 4 tires for under 100 bucks, and people that think 19.99 is way too much for an oil change.
I even go out there to show them the problem, as per Sears's policy, and they STILL dont belive me. Like I am making **** up.
Then I get people that walk into my store, and ask do we sell tires or batteries? HELLOOOOOO DID YOU NOT SEE TEH 100FT WALL OF TIRES AND BATTERIES ON THE WAY IN!!
And people need to understand that Sears is not a McDonalds where you place an order. We are the profesionals, at least most of us are, and we will let you know what you need. If you chose not to take our advice is up to you.
Then, I have to deal with techs that most of the time dont want to work! I dont want to sit there and get beat up by customers all day, but I have to because its my job. Its there job to put on tires, do oil changes, and look at brakes.

Trust me, if all you have to worry about are 17 year old chicks coming on to you and people dropping trow, you are good to go.

I had a customer come up to me one time, asking why there were two prices for one item. I didn't really know what he was talking about, so I asked him to show me. He drags me over, and points at a tag. It had the unit price and the sale price on the tag. for those who don't know, the unit price would be something like "$3 for 1 lb." Let's say the item weighs two pounds, the sale price for it would be $6. Pretty simple, right? this guy couldn't understand that. I explained it to him 3 times before he got it, and then he got mad and said we put up misleading signs. I calmly told him that every store in New Jersey does that, because it's the law. He walked off muttering to himself.

I must have 100 people a day ask me why something rung up higher than it should. 99 times out of that 100, the customer read the wrong price tag, and just assumed it was the right one. Other times, people will argue with me about a price, and I bring the sign to them as well as showing them the advertisement in our newpaper flyer. Even when they've been provided with 2 forms of evidence, they still swear that the lower price is the right one.

We have a certain set of guidelines as cashiers. we must follow the steps on this little black card:

1. Smile (i rarely do that) and greet customer
2. Ask if they found everything they were looking for
3. Ask for their club card
4. quote their club savings
5. thank them for shopping (i never do this, i just say "have a good day")

One man comes in, buys a few things. When he gets to the register, the cashier goes through their steps....when they ask him if he found everything, he flips out. He berates the cashier, because apparently it's insulting to him to ask if he found everything. His reasoning is, if he didn't find everything, why would he come to check out? the obvious answers are:
A. We didn't have the item he needed
B. He couldn't find an item and needed help

That's the reasons we ask that question, so we can either help them find the item or get them a request form so we can order an item for them. This guy doesn't understand that though. He'll scream for 10 minutes, check out, then write a lengthy complaint on how insulting and degrading it is to be asked that question. I wish I could just strangle the guy while he's in the store. His complaints are fun to read though.

I wouldn't care if all the people who regularly shopped at our store were loaded into it, the doors were locked, and a small tactical nuclear missle blew it to pieces. the world would be much better off without these evolutionary dead-ends.

[BigAls87Z28]

Aye, that is a pain. I get that too.

When you look at a flyer from for Sears, and people see Goodyear tires for 34.99 for a tire, there eyes light up with excitement! They rush down to Sears and they think 34.99x4=139.96 right?
What they fail to see is that the tire size is usualy a 155/80-13 or a 175/80-13. You know what kinda car you have to have to get this price? A small, econo-box, not your 2002 Nissan Maxima.
On top of that, the 34.99 is the price of teh TIRE...not the labor, not the alignment, no tax. Thats the tire as if you were to buy them over the counter. Putting labor costs into the add would be misleading as ballancing and the like varry depending on vehicle as do alignments.
When I break this news to people that its not 1964, and tires do not cost 34.99 per tire, they get upset and tell me the usual "I can get cheaper tires at Wal-Mart, Costco, BJ's" or other warehouse stores.
Well then, why the **** did you come to Sears if you could get it cheaper? And you know what? Out of every 10 customers that bring that to me, 8 of them come back because thoes stores usualy dont have jack in stock, dont have the correct tire for there car, and will not support the product they sell.
Try explaining speed raitings to people!! I should just learn Latin because I would get the same response.

Here are my biggest rants about the population when it comes to the cars they own.
1- People might be able to afford the montly payment, but can they afford the upkeep of the car, or can they afford the repair of the car? Example, the Honda Accord. For years, it has always been the econobox car with great quality and blah blah blah. Now, Honda has moved the Accord into a quazi-luxuy car market. Big V6's with 6spd manual transmissions. The tires they have on the car are 160-180 per tire. Thats the tire itself. People still think that the Accord is still a econobox and ask me why prices of tires are so expensive? I ask, "Well, the Accord is an expensive car".
2- People do not know anything about preventive maintaince. NOTHING. Customers come in and ask for an oil change. I ask them "what is the milage of the vehicle?" They look at me like I just asked them what is the meaning of life. They have no clue!! NONE!! And when they guess, they are usualy thousands of miles off. So the next question I asked is "Then how did you know it was time for an oil change?"
It would scare you to know that people dont know 3 months/3k miles (for most cars) and they will continue to drive the car till the oil light comes on.... The oil light does not mean "Oil Change Time". It means "Your oil is too low because you have driven the car for aprox. 10k miles since your last one, and your engine has digested 2 or more qts of oil."
There is a reason why there is a little sticker on your window that says the milage and date of when you are supposed to go get your oil changed. And its whatever comes FIRST!!! NOT LAST!!
Also, people need to take better care of there car. Therefor they dont get zapped with 1500 bills with brakes, shocks, etc. Ive had cars come in with brake rotors as thick as cardboard, tie rods and other front end items bent and shot to *****, not to mention MASSIVE alignment wear. Not only do they need front end work, but the inside of there tires are showing cords and steel belt.
People need to be better educated about cars. Perhaps all these electronic gizmos and what not on these cars have put people into a mode that the car will tell them when its sick. The days of worring about tune ups and whatever are pretty much over. But people still need to keep up with the basicl maintainece of the car.

[skorpion317]

one of the best pictures and stories i've ever seen/heard goes like this:

A woman was driving her 1997 Ford Explorer around when she noticed a grinding noise when she stepped on the brakes. She didn't quite know what this meant, so she drove to her local auto repair shop to find out what the problem was. When the mechanic took the wheels off to investigate, he found quite a shock....

The woman had no brake pads left. Not only that, she didn't have them for a LOOOONG time. It was just metal grinding on metal. The brake rotor was cut horribly. It had about 1/2 to 3/4" deep grooves cut into it. It looked like a slot car race track. I used to have a picture of it, but i can't find it now. I'll keep looking and hopefully i'll find it and put it up here.

[mesagsxbkr]

Hey dan, do you work at the starbucks on cedar grove in somerset? I am usually at that one...

[SpeakersGoBoom]

Originally Posted by skorpion317

My theory is that the sliding metal entrance doors are some kind of IQ vortex. They suck up any intelligence a customer had before they walked into the store. Albert Einstein could walk into the store, and he'd be reduced to a drooling vegetable.

Heh. the doors dont get my intelligence. Cant take what I dont have!
And yea, i knw exactly what your talking about. I work in a discount clothing store. everyone comes up to me and says, "Sir, how can you justify selling a pair of iceberg jeans for 15 dollars when they have a slight tear on the inside of the pocket?" Um, lets see...the original price of the pants was somewhere in the 800 dollar range. there is one small imperfection INSIDE the pocket, where nobody will ever see. (you just cant keep pennies in that pocket ) and your complaining that its 15 dollars? And as for alex's "you know your from north jersey when...", by me, the spanish people dont stay in the "back." They work in the STORE, along with the russian people, and they start screaming at me because i dont understand their muttered broken english/million word a minute spanish.

[Amy]

Originally Posted by BigAls87Z28

Please, that aint nothing. I have to deal with customers that thing I am trying to bend them over at every deal. People coming to me wanting 4 tires for under 100 bucks, and people that think 19.99 is way too much for an oil change.
I even go out there to show them the problem, as per Sears's policy, and they STILL dont belive me. Like I am making **** up.
Then I get people that walk into my store, and ask do we sell tires or batteries? HELLOOOOOO DID YOU NOT SEE TEH 100FT WALL OF TIRES AND BATTERIES ON THE WAY IN!!
And people need to understand that Sears is not a McDonalds where you place an order. We are the profesionals, at least most of us are, and we will let you know what you need. If you chose not to take our advice is up to you.
Then, I have to deal with techs that most of the time dont want to work! I dont want to sit there and get beat up by customers all day, but I have to because its my job. Its there job to put on tires, do oil changes, and look at brakes.

Which is why I left the business..

I now work at fedex ground where I don't have to see one single customer or sit in traffic cause my shift is 4-9am. Yay. You guys should look into applying.. lol.

[SpeakersGoBoom]

Originally Posted by Amy

Which is why I left the business..

I now work at fedex ground where I don't have to see one single customer or sit in traffic cause my shift is 4-9am. Yay. You guys should look into applying.. lol.

4AM to 9am, or 4PM to 9am?

[JPiZZiJP]

mesagsxbkr, I'm at the one on Cedar Grove all the time myself... my best friend lives in Somerset, so I take Cedar Grove lane to get to his house. Are you m or f? cause I saw 2 chicks outside the starbucks there once grilling me when i drove into the strip mall, and grilling me again when i left like, about a week ago. If that was you, see the avatar, that's my car.

~Joe

[BigAls87Z28]

Originally Posted by skorpion317

one of the best pictures and stories i've ever seen/heard goes like this:

A woman was driving her 1997 Ford Explorer around when she noticed a grinding noise when she stepped on the brakes. She didn't quite know what this meant, so she drove to her local auto repair shop to find out what the problem was. When the mechanic took the wheels off to investigate, he found quite a shock....

The woman had no brake pads left. Not only that, she didn't have them for a LOOOONG time. It was just metal grinding on metal. The brake rotor was cut horribly. It had about 1/2 to 3/4" deep grooves cut into it. It looked like a slot car race track. I used to have a picture of it, but i can't find it now. I'll keep looking and hopefully i'll find it and put it up here.

That aint NOTHING!! We had a car in the other day that didnt have any rear drum hardwear to hold the shoes together, and the wheel cyls were blown out.
Ive had vented rotors wear right to the veins in the middle. The hat part fused to the hub, and the rotor came right off with a tug....but the hat part staid fused onto the hub. Imagine this guy making an emergency braking manuver behind you? The rotor would have snapped, and he would have went right into the back of your car. That brake job was like two grand.
And to think that the guy just came in to get his battery check. When the tech pulled it in, he hit the brakes, but the pedal hit the floor, and he almost went though the wall.

[skorpion317]

more weirdness....

I was watching the self-checkout lanes today...The computer told her to swipe her credit card to pay. So the woman started trying to swipe the card on the scanner, not the card machine. I almost smacked my head as I watched the woman trying in vain to get her card to go through with the scanner. When she asked me why it wasn't working, I grabbed her card and swiped it on the card machine. then i walked away.

Also, for comic relief, a 50-year old transvestite came into the store. He was dressed in old lady shoes, a fur coat, skirt, and a wig. At first, you'd think it was just an ugly old lady, but upon closer inspection you saw that "she" was taller and had man hands and legs. the face was noticeable too. It gave me a good laugh.

Another transvestite comes into the store sometimes too....this one's in his early 40's. Actually looks like a woman at first, but his hands give it away.

[enRo]

When I was 16, I worked at a Boston Market, being the only English speaking person there. And the stuff they say??? Prolly looks like this...
El tipo blanco con la camisa azul no entiende una palabra "nosotros latina" habla. Que tal nosotros atacamos a este tipo blanco directamente después de trabajo. Robaremos él pan de maÃ*z

[arc555]

I feel for you guys. I work in retail, at the General Stores on Brick Blvd. Now it has all kinds of stuff, if you have to get a gift for a woman (or a man, very small mens clothing department) go there. We have about 5 different Christmas locations in the store, and they're very big and bright. I was working towards the back of the store, and a woman came in the other day and asked where our Christmas stuff was. I looked at her, and said, "You probably past 2 or 3 Christmas shops on your way to find me." I mean, they're right in front of you, it's not hard to see these things.

You just have to love the general public though.

[Mister_Johnny99]

Originally Posted by skorpion317

more weirdness....


Also, for comic relief, a 50-year old transvestite came into the store. He was dressed in old lady shoes, a fur coat, skirt, and a wig. At first, you'd think it was just an ugly old lady, but upon closer inspection you saw that "she" was taller and had man hands and legs. the face was noticeable too. It gave me a good laugh.

That's just Roger.
You've never seen him before?
He's been walkin' the steets of Pompton for years.