|
10-22-2008, 09:32 AM
|
#1
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
|
W00t-off!
Quote:
WOOT, INC. INTERNAL EMAIL
STAFF EYES ONLY
Attention Woot employees -
We are now entering the final phase of preparations for the Woot-Off planned for midnight tonight. This is when we depart from our usual deal-a-day model and sell one product after another, offering a new deal as soon as the previous one sells out. For some reason, Woot members like knipps continue to have high expectations for this event. We must make every effort to ensure that they feel disappointed and betrayed.
All workers should be physically and mentally straining to make this Woot-Off a success, like every muscle in a wolf's body strains to capture and devour its prey. We expect total compliance with the following objectives:
* Make sure the stables are thoroughly cleaned and the horses properly groomed and shod. As you know, Commander Rutledge prefers to lead us on horseback during Woot-Offs. Charge!
* Customer Service department: all vacation requests for this week and next are approved. If you have not filed a vacation request, take one anyway.
* The little green pills in the kitchen are there to keep you alert and working. Take as many as you need. Officially, Woot does not believe in the concept of "overdose".
* Take at least one of our servers offline, just for laughs.
* Go to the landfill and dig up some more Sansa media players. If you see any Digipro Graphics Tablets (and you will), grab those, too.
* Place crap bags in company latrines so those orders can be "filled". To this end, the company will provide free lunch today from El Feo, the filthiest burrito joint in Dallas. Do your worst, guys.
* Neutralize all negative thinking among our members. We simply cannot tolerate any more posts like "do not want" or "Woot-Off killer". If electronic means like word filters and IP bans do not work, we must reactivate the rapid-response teams to physically eliminate all threats to our reputation.
* Last time, spot checks revealed that approximately 25% of products shipped are broken, incomplete, or excessively dirty. This is unacceptable. For this Woot-Off, defective shipments must make up at least 40%.
* Remind SmartPost that there's no need to hurry on these orders. Prompt delivery makes our customers spoiled and argumentative. Let them learn humility and gratitude while they wait.
Above all, we must strive to make this Woot-Off even more tedious, disappointing, and lucrative than the last one. The employee who achieves the most toward this end will be rewarded with one brown Zune. Second place: two brown Zunes.
Forward into battle! Remember: to give one's life for Woot is glorious!
Larry Stalin
eCommerce eKommissar
Woot, Inc.
THIS EMAIL WILL SELF-DESTRUCT IN 90 SECONDS
|
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
|
|
|
|
10-22-2008, 09:46 AM
|
#2
|
Avatar Abuser
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: 08721-1716
Posts: 5,056
|
some of the terminology just makes me laugh...
p.s. i also received this, but since it said "eyes only" i figured i would be breaking some law if i posted it here. glad you did, so you can take the brunt of any lawsuit they decide to drop on those that broke the confidentiality of the message...
__________________
JSFBOA
Save a life.
N = R* fp ne fl fi fc L
|
|
|
10-22-2008, 09:47 AM
|
#3
|
11 Second Club
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Edison, NJ
Posts: 4,619
|
w00t!!1!!!!!1!!!!!!!
__________________
1999 Z28 Convertible. 6 speed swap, wide cowl hood, full hockey stripes, and a whining 10 bolt.
2008 Sierra Vortec Max. 6.2 swapped, headers, Magnaflow catback, GMPP CAI, NHT optioned tow package.
2006 GTO, 11.48 @ 118.3
|
|
|
10-23-2008, 12:29 AM
|
#4
|
11 Second Club
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Hagerstown, MD
Posts: 1,566
|
i dont understand?
__________________
J E R S E Y S H O R E O W N S Y O U
12 Sonic Turbo
07 Malibu SS
04 Silverado SS - Sold
00 Trans Am WS6 - Sold
-.:: United States Marine Corps ::.-
|
|
|
10-23-2008, 03:58 PM
|
#5
|
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Point Pleasant
Posts: 1,809
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevilDougWS6
i dont understand?
|
Yeah what?
__________________
-Vinnie
94 2wd SBSC Gmt400. 330CI LSX, Fast 102, Trickflow 205s, close ratio nv3500, 4.30/trutrac.
|
|
|
10-23-2008, 04:21 PM
|
#6
|
Co-Founder / Site Admin
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Ewing, NJ
Posts: 22,473
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by DevilDougWS6
i dont understand?
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by r0nin89
Yeah what?
|
www.woot.com
Enjoy!
- Justin
__________________
1999 Camry - Beigemobile DD
2002 Suburban - Wife's DD
2004 Grand Cherokee - Not running / Project / Selling?
|
|
|
12-09-2008, 12:31 AM
|
#7
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
|
UP & UP. It's that time again folks.
www.woot.com
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
|
|
|
|
12-09-2008, 01:16 AM
|
#8
|
11 Second Club
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Edison, NJ
Posts: 4,619
|
__________________
1999 Z28 Convertible. 6 speed swap, wide cowl hood, full hockey stripes, and a whining 10 bolt.
2008 Sierra Vortec Max. 6.2 swapped, headers, Magnaflow catback, GMPP CAI, NHT optioned tow package.
2006 GTO, 11.48 @ 118.3
|
|
|
02-18-2009, 09:40 AM
|
#9
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
|
It's that time again
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
|
|
|
|
02-18-2009, 04:51 PM
|
#10
|
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Delran
Posts: 6,785
|
i still dont understand?
|
|
|
02-18-2009, 05:01 PM
|
#11
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
|
www.woot.com
they sell crap. cheap.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
|
|
|
|
02-18-2009, 07:22 PM
|
#12
|
MIR
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 9,692
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knipps
|
Anything useful?
|
|
|
02-19-2009, 03:02 PM
|
#13
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
|
Depends, during a woot off when one thing is sold they move on to the next one.
(and I'd use the term useful loosely)
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
|
|
|
|
02-19-2009, 11:06 PM
|
#14
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Boston/North
Posts: 9,214
|
go go go
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
dumbass.
|
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
|
|
|