number 2

[jims69camaro]

my sister was number 1, she died in october from cancer that was in between her heart and lungs - no way to operate and the only choice was chemotherapy, which she declined.

number 2 is my father-in-law. same place, same type of situation. they say he could live a year without problems if he does nothing. he'd need pain meds, most likely a morphine drip or something of that nature. he's going to be released from the hospital tomorrow, and that's when some hard decisions are going to have to be made. they can't operate on it because of where it is, just like my sister. so he could go through chemo, but there is no guarantee that he'll survive the chemo. see, chemo not only destroys the cancer cells, but also your white blood cells, so he could catch a simple cold and croak from that.

so he's going to have to decide how he wants to live his remaining days. i'm thinking that he'll want to go back to costa rica, the country of his birth. i don't know how my mother-in-law will handle any of this. she plays 'em pretty close to her chest, if you know what i mean. so, he could possibly live another year, but he will die from this cancer, as my sister did. i'm just wondering where #3 is going to strike, since bad things always happen in threes, and that his cancer is in the same place and same type of cancer that killed my sister. btw, he's 77 years old, so he's lived a full life, not robbed of it like my sis (44 y.o. when she died).

i cried. that's over. i know he will move on to a better place, free from pain, so i have that to look forward to. but he will leave his wife who is one year younger than he is, and i have no idea how that is gong to play out. i mean, she could decide to go back to costa rica with him and never return to this country, or she could come back after he dies. i guess not knowing when is the worst part. i normally don't write threads like this, but you guys are my comrades and friends, and i just wanted to let you know a little bit of what's happening in my life, just in case i seem a little flaky in the coming weeks and months.

[WildBillyT]

Jim,

I'm really sorry to hear about this. These are the type of things that you wish never happen to anybody.

How is your wife holding up? Her parents, correct?

[BonzoHansen]

Best wishes to you & your family in this rough time.

[Tru2Chevy]

Sorry to hear Jim....cancer is never easy to deal with.

- Justin

[79CamaroDiva]

it sounds like you've already come to terms with what is going to happen, without any false hopes of what might. you seem like a very strong man, and the women in your life are going to need you to lean on. most of us don't deal with loss well at all, while it seems like men are much better at it.

[unstable bob gable]

Sorry to hear, Jimbo. Cancer is one mf. I'll keep you and your fam. in my prayers, and ya know where to find me if ya need to rap.

[jims69camaro]

Originally Posted by WildBillyT

Jim,

I'm really sorry to hear about this. These are the type of things that you wish never happen to anybody.

How is your wife holding up? Her parents, correct?

yeah, man, her 'rents. she is in shambles, and rightly so. it's ok, though, as i know how to be strong for both of us - i've done it before, i can do it again.

it's true, you don't wish things like this on your worst enemy. i'm not going to lie, this old guy hasn't led a perfect life, but nobody deserves to die like this. i love him inspite of himself, too. it's funny, i don't talk with my family, but i found out what the word family means when they accepted me into their lives, home, world. i've done the best i can to treat them with the same amount of love, compassion and respect that they have shown me. i can't tell you the number of miles i've put on my car taking them all over the place, running errands and such. not to mention taking my mom-in-law up to new brunswick to RWJ cancer center when they found a lump in her breast. i never spoke of it, i wouldn't dream of it, because i still feel like i am in their debt for the kindness, etc., that they have shown me.

it's not everyday that you run into people like these, and i hate to think the old guy is going to go anytime soon.

thanks to all for your kind words. i appreciate it.

[Mike]

jim,
im sorry to hear this and i hope everyone helps him enjoy the rest of his time to the best that he can. cancer has torn through my moms family as well and its by far the most god awful thing going on in the world right now.
best wishes to everyone and i hope your family can pull together and support each other

mike

[jims69camaro]

Originally Posted by 79CamaroDiva

it sounds like you've already come to terms with what is going to happen, without any false hopes of what might. you seem like a very strong man, and the women in your life are going to need you to lean on. most of us don't deal with loss well at all, while it seems like men are much better at it.

it's true. i have been the cornerstone of the family before; it's not a role i relish, but one i can fulfill. since i have already been through this with my sis, i know what will happen. there is no need to beat around the bush. the only that really needs to come to terms with this is the old guy. i am sure he will be ok, though, as the family support center is strong.

and i have you guys to fall back on if i need ya. that is heart-warming in and of itself.

[jims69camaro]

Originally Posted by cbrrmike

jim,
im sorry to hear this and i hope everyone helps him enjoy the rest of his time to the best that he can. cancer has torn through my moms family as well and its by far the most god awful thing going on in the world right now.
best wishes to everyone and i hope your family can pull together and support each other

mike

thanks, bro. i appreciate it.

[BurninrubberGT]

very sorry to here about this, prayers are with you and your family and your father in law. my mom is a survivor of cancer, its tough but ya just gotta push through and hope for the best

best wishes
mike

[JL8Jeff]

That sucks Jim. And I hate to agree with you on the 3 thing, but I just lost 2 uncles and an aunt in the last year so it sure looks like that rule applies sometimes. Both my grandmothers are still alive at 96 and 97 years old and have outlived some of their own children! Hang in there for the family!

[baddest434]

so sorry to hear that jim. best wishes to all. you are one strong man jim.

[Rich189]

I'm really sorry to hear Jim its odd hearing this though my grandfather just passed away this sunday from cancer that the doctors didnt even figure out he had even though he had many other medical problems and was in the hosp for testing at least once a week.. and i just had the viewing etc. last night. Best of luck to you and your family i wish you all the best

[jims69camaro]

Originally Posted by Rich189

I'm really sorry to hear Jim its odd hearing this though my grandfather just passed away this sunday from cancer that the doctors didnt even figure out he had even though he had many other medical problems and was in the hosp for testing at least once a week.. and i just had the viewing etc. last night. Best of luck to you and your family i wish you all the best

i know what you are going through and i feel your pain. it sucks how it sneaks up on you, and then whammo, full-blown, inoperable (or deadly) cancer strikes again. hang in there, bro.

[chrisfrom nj]

sorry to hear that jim

[Teds89IROC]

sorry to hear that Jim, my prayers go out to your family

[CamaroGirlie]

Jim

Good luck to you and your family. My mom started with breast cancer, had a masectomy, 5 years later it went to ther lungs, had a lobectomy, and now its in her spine. She is currently undergoing chemo and will have to do it for a full year. She also had a burst brain aneurisym, a stroke, and seizures. And yet she's still fighting and working 55 hours per week. I hope everything turns out well for ur father in law. Some people are really good fighters.

Christine

[slugger27nj]

Very sorry to hear. My prayers are definitely with you and your family.

[jims69camaro]

Originally Posted by CamaroGirlie

Jim

Good luck to you and your family. My mom started with breast cancer, had a masectomy, 5 years later it went to ther lungs, had a lobectomy, and now its in her spine. She is currently undergoing chemo and will have to do it for a full year. She also had a burst brain aneurisym, a stroke, and seizures. And yet she's still fighting and working 55 hours per week. I hope everything turns out well for ur father in law. Some people are really good fighters.

Christine

wow, three strikes and she's still in the game? that's why i say you have to put things into perspective. no matter how bad you have it, there is someone out there who has it worse than you. tell her i said, "way to fight it. don't let it beat you!"

an update on the situation: come to find out, one of the doctors jumped the gun by saying it was where it was, and the type that it was. basically, he's undergone a battery of tests to determine where it is and what kind, and it's not as grim as we were first led to believe. he's still got a fight on his hands and i hope he is strong enough to beat it, and i am pulling for him and will be in his corner against this life-stealer.

he decided on the chemo, so he will stay in the hospital another week while they administer the therapy. the prognosis is a little bit better, as well, as they are giving him a 50/50 chance to survive the chemo. we'll just have to hang in there and see how strong his will really is (i know he is strong willed, but he's never come up against this before). one of the doctors commented about him quitting smoking a few weeks ago, that he's already done the damage to his lungs, years ago, and it really doesn't matter if he smokes now or not. i guess if he's happier smoking then i will go to the store and get him a pack. a lot more thought is going to go into his quality of life now, to make sure he is as content as possible, because he doesn't have much time left, regardless of whether he survives the chemo or not. then again, he could go into remission, get hit by a bus a week later and die. you never really know how much time you have left. it's just that the rest of us are a little more aware of his wants and needs right now.

i wish i had better news, but this isn't all that bad. stiff upper lip, and all that.

[Tru2Chevy]

Glad to hear that things aren't as bad as originally thought.

If he's as strong willed as you say he's still got a fighting chance to beat this thing!

- Justin

[Frosty]

Originally Posted by BonzoHansen

Best wishes to you & your family in this rough time.

What he said.