View Full Version : ROAD RAGE! Or...how a Diet Coke became a missle of death!
unstable bob gable
09-30-2005, 12:07 AM
Disclaimer: The following story may or may not be true. It may or may not have happened on Wed, Sept 28, 2005. It contains such non P/C items as automobiles being driven in a reckless fashion, A Diet Coke being used as a weapon of mass destruction, and contains the word "jabronie!" READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED!
unstable bob was taking his usual route to the chithole where he works, which puts him on the Pulaski Skyway, AKA the Pulaski Flyway, AKA THE ROAD OF DOOM! unstable bob was in a pretty mellow mood, as it was payday, and he was going with the flow of traffic. unstable bob was within a mile of his turn off the Pulaski, when all of a sudden a Mini Me van comes blazing up at warp speed, and gets right on unstable bob's bumper. Now, if there is one thing that unstable bob hates almost as much as ricers, it is mini vans that are being driven in an aggressive manner. unstable bob believes that all mini vans, or anything with a name like "Sidekick," "Tracker," "Amigo," etc, belongs in the friggin' slow lane, showing "Teletubbie" videos to howling 'lil nose miners. They have NO bidness being driven in an agressive manner, or spending ANY time in the fast lane!!! WELL, anywho, back to the story!
unstable bob was quickly getting VERY pizzed off at this mook behind him, and figured it was prolly some POS crackhead trying to motor into NYC to get his fix. Â*And since unstable bob's exit was coming up, unstable bob said "Fook it!," and started to move over to the right lane. WELL, low and behold Mr Mario Azz-dretty in da mini crack house decided he was gonna try and pass on the right! unstable bob had already gotten in front of him, so it was time for some "brake dancin'!" unstable bob hits his brakes ONE TIME! Mini van locks 'em up! DANCE, BEYOTCH! unstable bob rolls a little further, with the crack head still on his azz. So unstable bob hits da brakes DA SECOND TIME! Swerve that van! DANCE AGAIN, BEYOTCH! Welp, now it was about time to get take the exit, so da van man dumps over to the left lane, cuts off a few people, and takes the exit. And even when he is having to come to a stop because of a light he cuts somebody off by dumping into the other lane. Welp, needless to say, unstable bob is SMOKIN' PIZZED OFF MAAAAAAAD! The guy is in a line of cars waiting for the light, and unstable bob has to make a right hand turn to continue on his trip. unstable bob quickly does the math, realizes the guy's passenger side window is down, the guy is stuck in a line of cars and can't go anywhere, and unstable bob has a clean get away path. But unstable bob needs a weapon to launch...LOW AND BEHOLD! A fresh can of Diet Coke! Welp, it then went down like this:
1. unstable bob graps can of Diet Coke, puts on baseball cap for disguise,
and exits vehicle.
2. unstable bob jogs down street, staying close to sidewalk to try and not arouse too much attention.
3. unstable bob moves over into street, and gets clear shot at mini van driver.
4. unstable bob yells "Thanks for cutting me off, you scumbag jabronie!" and hurls can of Diet Coke.
5. Diet Coke can goes forward like a Randy Johnson fastball, enters mini van through pass side window, and smashes into driver in upper body, around the neck area.
6. unstable bob runs like hell back to his car, whips it down the side street and around the corner, and gets the hell outa there!
7. unstable bob continues on to work, grinning from ear to ear!
THE END!
Savage_Messiah
09-30-2005, 12:11 AM
UBG strikes again!!!
bad64chevelle
09-30-2005, 12:32 AM
LOL Nice work unstable Bob!
2001orangess
09-30-2005, 12:47 AM
hahah thast was great
Squirrel
09-30-2005, 07:01 AM
"it was a drive by fruiting" 8)...name movie, 3 points
SteveR
09-30-2005, 07:23 AM
"it was a drive by fruiting" 8)...name movie, 3 points
Mrs. Doubtfire
SteveR
09-30-2005, 07:24 AM
That story was awesome! :lol: Great way to start the morning lol
foff667
09-30-2005, 08:11 AM
wow your a scary man UBG
The Fixer
09-30-2005, 08:32 AM
Thanks for the laugh! And you really gotta be Unstable to do that commute everyday; those roads suck AZZ! I feel your pain!
jims69camaro
09-30-2005, 08:38 AM
:kneeslap:
bitchincamaro
09-30-2005, 11:52 AM
haha your really are unstable bob. that was a awsome story, if there were more consequences like that people would'nt be driving like ********, way to set a example.
Fastbird
09-30-2005, 02:25 PM
:headbang: LMAO man, that's too funny. I'm just rolling!!!
Tru2Chevy
09-30-2005, 02:39 PM
Wow UBG.....just wow.
- Justin
unstable bob gable
09-30-2005, 03:42 PM
Just anutter 2 cents from the unstable one. This and anutter 73 cents will buy you a can of Diet Coke: :wink:
Whatever your beliefs are, there is prolly something in there that deals with universal justice, an eye for an eye, Ying and Yang, etc. In the story above, it could be said that unstable bob was the hero, as he brought the smackdown upon the unsafe crack head driver of the mini van. But the scenerio can also be reversed. If unstable bob causes the situation, there may be a Diet Coke can somewhere with his name on it.
The scales of justice are hard to balance... :shock:
NJSPEEDER
09-30-2005, 03:49 PM
for anyone who has not met bob, you must realize that over teh 8-10 years i have known him he has actually mellowed out a lot.
good shot bob. next time you need to hit the hood with an open can. nice spray pattern will score extra points.
later
tim
unstable bob gable
09-30-2005, 04:00 PM
for anyone who has not met bob, you must realize that over teh 8-10 years i have known him he has actually mellowed out a lot.
good shot bob. next time you need to hit the hood with an open can. nice spray pattern will score extra points.
later
tim
You've known me 10 years? Where was I the first five? lol
I think you have mistaken the fact that I have become more sociable by thinking it is me mellowing out. :wink:
slasherbarb
09-30-2005, 04:46 PM
you...are...
GOD!!
79dizZy28
09-30-2005, 05:28 PM
:rofl: excellent story
12secondv6
10-01-2005, 12:14 PM
Wow...... all I think of is..... what an *******.
Granted the other person was driving like an idiot (from what you say).... but then you bring it to another level.
What you did was plain stupid...... just imagine if you threw that at the person... something happened... they hit the gas at the light and plowed into another car killing the other people?? Then you would be at complete fault.
I know nothing of you.... haven't met you either.... but.... I'll keep some of my personal opinions to myself.
BTW:
Do you realize the power of the internet? Doccumenting such info as this can easily be forwarded to the PD of that area.
JPiZZiJP
10-01-2005, 12:23 PM
"it was a drive by fruiting" 8)...name movie, 3 points
Mrs Doubtfire. too easy.
unstable bob gable
10-02-2005, 01:29 AM
And now, the great unstable bob gable replies to this 12SecondV6 cretin's attempt to slander unstable bob's great deed with the Diet Coke can of death! :twisted:
12SV6: Wow...... all I think of is..... what an *******.
ubg: You "think?" When didja learn how to do that? Mucho congrats at your attempt to move from da short bus to the tall bus. Hope ya don't trip on the way there!
But ya know what? unstable bob IS an *******. And unstable bob works hard at being the biggest, assholiest, ******* he can be! So thanks for noticing. Now what are you good at, besides being a beyotch?
And just for the record, 16 people gave a positive review in this thread. Everything from getting a laff to declairing unstable bob to be a GOD! So, your sorry 'lil 1 percent of half a sissy hissy post doesn't meana whole helluva lot, Slappy! Kinda like a pork chop at a Bar mitzvah: Unwelcomed, unnecesasary, unneeded. Dig it, jabronie?
12SV6: Granted the other person was driving like an idiot (from what you say).... but then you bring it to another level.
ubg: Yeah, unstable bob did take it to anutter level. Something like DEFCON 1, CODE RED, MAXIMUM BATTLE DAMAGE, and things like dat! In fact, you can say that unstable bob SANK HIS BATTLESHIP!!!! :evil:
12SV6: What you did was plain stupid...... just imagine if you threw that at the person... something happened... they hit the gas at the light and plowed into another car killing the other people?? Â*Then you would be at complete fault.
ubg: Gee, MOM, tanks fer pointing out what COULDA, SHOULDA, WOULDA, happened. But NOTHING happened! NADA! ZILCH! ZERO! NONE OF DA ABOVE! If you wanna be a "Maybe Melvin," and live in MAYBEVILLE, go right ahead sucka! But riddle these "maybes" Melvin:
MAYBE because that guy got plowed with the Diet Coke can he woke the f' up and won't drive like dat any 'mo! MAYBE now accidents will be avoided! MAYBE innocent people won't die! MAYBE there won't be mass destruction and total carnage! MAYBE you should be kissing unstable bob's arse and be welcoming him home the conquering hero, instead of being a boo hoo-a-boo boo!!!!
12SV6: I know nothing of you.... haven't met you either.... but.... I'll keep some of my personal opinions to myself.
ubg: Ummmm, HELL-OH? Is this thing on? You are gonna keep some of yer opinions to yourself? Well, golly gee thanks a bunch! If you are keeping your opinions to yourself, what is all the poo poo la la you are flinging around in this post, there, Sparky? Anywho, opinions are like arseholes: everybody has one, and some of 'em, like yer breath, smell like ARSE, ARSE, ARSE!
OK, buckaroo, you had yer shot at the big time, now it is unstable bob's turn:
First up, place yer right hand on a cyberbible and SWEAR that you NEVER: flipped a bird, blew a horn, yelled a cuss, pounded a steering wheel, jammed on yer brakes cause an azzclown was tailgating ya, flashed yer highs at a slowpoke in da fast lane, or showed any other negative view or took matters into your own hands towards a driver operating a motor vehicle in an unsafe or threatening manner. Go 'head...swear ya never did. And if ya do, I can think of 2 things:
1. You are Jesus, Mother Theresa, or Gandhi. And somehow I get the feeling you are NONE of those peeps!
2. You are a friggin' bold faced LIAR!!!!!
Sooooo, with dat being stated...WHO THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS ARE YOU TO JUDGE unstable bob? Are you:
Judge Judy?
http://www.thinkingoutloud.biz/archives/home/annettec/public_html/images/judgejudy.jpg
Judge Wapner?
http://augustachronicle.com/images/headlines/031101/judge_wapner.jpg
Judge Mathis?
http://augustachronicle.com/images/headlines/031101/judge_mathis.jpg
Judge Joe Brown?
http://www.judgejoebrown.com/assets/bios/bios_photo_joe.jpg
Judge GTO?
http://www.allmusclecars.com/pontiac/FC69EXT1.jpg
Judge Lane?
http://augustachronicle.com/images/headlines/031101/Judge_Mills_Lane.jpg
Judge Dredd?
http://www.2000adonline.com/features/intro3.jpg
Judge Reinhold?
http://www.triviatribute.com/images4/judgereinhold2.jpg
Well? Are you any of those judges? HUH? HUH? HUH? No? Well, then, maybe you should S-T-F-U on the W-W-W. Go find an audience with the Sentra azzclowns or the Italians w/ Dragonball Z haircut jabronies, or the ricer wanna be racer pudd pullers, or any other bottom feeding, mouth breathing, choads of humanity who want to try and speak their vice in a loud voice, but only have the lungs of a 3 year old girl who has been smokin' ten packs of unfiltered Luckies a day for fitty years. SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK is how it all comes out from that black hole under that barren area where you have been trying to grow a moustache for the last 16 years! So, to the thunderous sounds of laughter at your expense, slink back into your crack in the wall, and pray that someday you will have the tools to spar with the likes of KINGS! Kings like unstable bob gable. And as such unstable bob is a KING, you, ma'am, are a QUEEN! So, BE GONE!
But wait! Thou must be of significant tuffness, since thou opening volley consisted of calling unstable bob an *******! You must be the tuffest of all cyber tuff guys!
You must be tuffer than Ken Shamrock!:
http://www.autographedtoyou.com/CelebPics/ken_shamrock1.jpg
You must have arms bigger than Greg Valentino!:
http://www.greggvalentino.net/images/homePage/seated.jpg
Bigger legs than Ronnie Coleman!:
http://i.b5z.net/i/u/230085/i/Ronnie_coleman_top_ezr.jpg
A Bigger chest than Vic Richards!:
http://www.vicrichards.com/images/consult.jpg
Or Pam Anderson!:
http://www.xxxmain.com/images/pam-anderson.jpg
You must be cooler than Fonzie!:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/94/Fonzie.jpg
Stronger on dirt than Mr Clean!:
http://www.baefed.com/fmd/members/clean.jpg
And faster than a garden slug!:
http://hoopermuseum.earthsci.carleton.ca/gastropoda/slug.gif
All these things MUST be true, so I am VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, SORRY if I pizzed you off in any way......NOT! HELL NO, NOT SORRY IN DA LEAST! NOPE, NOT ONE TINY BIT!!!!!!!
12SV6: BTW:
Do you realize the power of the internet? Â*Doccumenting such info as this can easily be forwarded to the PD of that area.
ubg: DUHHHHHHH, eh, nope, unstble bob don'te no nothen abot ths intranett orr ane powr tht et mite havve.
Hey Columbo, let me ax YOU something. Do YOU realize that you can't believe everything you read on the Internet? You prolly do believe anything ya read. Did you read the disclaimer to that story? Maybe it was for entertainment purposes...maybe you should run into your beddie bye room, pull up your Power Ranger sheets, and look under yer bed...'cause Ashtray Cruncher {or whatever the hell that goon's name is} might roll out from under yer bed to tell ya that YOU HAVE BEEN PUNKED! Â*:lol:
But then again...MAYBE NOT! Maybe it is alllllll true. Whatever the case, I don't giva flying fook about what you think.
But then again...maybe I do! Â*:lol:
Ah, NOPE!
12secondv6
10-02-2005, 09:03 AM
Thank you Bob for futher proving my point.
GP99GT
10-02-2005, 09:08 AM
yeah im with james...that was a stupid/assholetacular thing to do.
skorpion317
10-03-2005, 01:39 AM
regardless of whether or not this was the right/wrong thing to do, no one can deny that you've thought of doing what Bob did on more than one occaision. The only difference was that he actually went and did it, instead of sitting in his car and stewing.
I, for one, applaud Bob. not for a reckless act, but for actually having the balls to do it.
You applaud Bob? For what? Stooping down to that persons level.
Ya, I wish everytime someone did an ******* thing another person did it back. That would be just excellent.
Honestly, I also think Bob is an idiot for doing what he did. People do find it funny and that's great for them, but you're still a goddamn idiot. And honestly, you can try to 'make fun' of me (if that's what you call your sorry attempt at insulting 12secondv6), but you're still a goddamn idiot for doing what you did.
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
Mahatma Gandhi
badzracing
10-03-2005, 08:51 PM
He is self proclaimed "unstable". If you mess with him he messes with you. Don't cut him off or you end up with a diet coke can stuck in your neck. Maybe it wasn't the most sane thing to do, but that mini-van jerk-off will think twice next time. Get 'em Bob!!! :twisted:
camaro2you
10-04-2005, 05:16 AM
lmao
8) unstable bob pwnz all
qft
unstable bob gable
10-05-2005, 01:31 AM
Gee, I gotta admit my widdle feewings are hurt...nobody acknowledged the hard work and time I put into my rebuttal to 21SecondV6. It took a long time getting all those picts together, plus coming up w/ all the names of those judges. Oh well, I thought it was a pretty awesome job, so I'll pat myself on the back a few times.
I like how all the "holier than unstable" types, who pulled their fingers outa their noses long enuff to shake 'em at me, skated around the issue of my asking if they could swear to never participating in an act of anger while behind the wheel. You can quote alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the people ya want, but I'd give my left woobie to be a fly on the wall when YOU were in the cross hairs.
Well, if anybody wants to quote Gandhi, get an autograph :lol: , call me an *******, or anything else, I'll be at the Grease Trucks tomorrow. Maybe since I caused such an uproar I should go stand by the Italians w/ Dragonball Z 'doos and/or Sentra Guyz and let them watch my back. :lol:
Nah, come on, can't we all be friends? Can't road ragers and armchair pacificists/finger pointers get along? Maybe we can all have a Diet Coke together! :wink:
HAVE A NICE RAGE FREE DAY!
{Driving in Jersey? YEAH, GOOD LUCK!}
12secondv6
10-05-2005, 12:00 PM
I never said that I haven't done anything illegal or stupid.
I was just pointing out that you did.
Have a nice day.
Brando56894
10-06-2005, 09:02 PM
all i have to say is bob your hilarious, if someone did that to me id be like "wtf?!" just completely stunned. i applaud you on your response to james, i especially like the insertion of "Judge GTO" :)
unstable bob gable
10-06-2005, 10:58 PM
all i have to say is bob your hilarious, if someone did that to me id be like "wtf?!" just completely stunned. i applaud you on your response to james, i especially like the insertion of "Judge GTO" Â*:)
Thanx dood. I enjoyed rappin' with ya @ the grease trux last night. Keep coming out, we need mo' good nights like that. Ya'll def brought the coolness on down! 8)
bad64chevelle
10-06-2005, 11:15 PM
Sooooo, with dat being stated...WHO THE H-E-DOUBLE HOCKEY STICKS ARE YOU TO JUDGE unstable bob? Are you:
Judge Judy?
http://www.thinkingoutloud.biz/archives/home/annettec/public_html/images/judgejudy.jpg
Judge Wapner?
http://augustachronicle.com/images/headlines/031101/judge_wapner.jpg
Judge Mathis?
http://augustachronicle.com/images/headlines/031101/judge_mathis.jpg
Judge Joe Brown?
http://www.judgejoebrown.com/assets/bios/bios_photo_joe.jpg
Judge GTO?
http://www.allmusclecars.com/pontiac/FC69EXT1.jpg
Judge Lane?
http://augustachronicle.com/images/headlines/031101/Judge_Mills_Lane.jpg
Judge Dredd?
http://www.2000adonline.com/features/intro3.jpg
Judge Reinhold?
http://www.triviatribute.com/images4/judgereinhold2.jpg
Well? Are you any of those judges? HUH? HUH? HUH? No? Well, then, maybe you should S-T-F-U on the W-W-W. Go find an audience with the Sentra azzclowns or the Italians w/ Dragonball Z haircut jabronies, or the ricer wanna be racer pudd pullers, or any other bottom feeding, mouth breathing, choads of humanity who want to try and speak their vice in a loud voice, but only have the lungs of a 3 year old girl who has been smokin' ten packs of unfiltered Luckies a day for fitty years. SQUEAK, SQUEAK, SQUEAK is how it all comes out from that black hole under that barren area where you have been trying to grow a moustache for the last 16 years! So, to the thunderous sounds of laughter at your expense, slink back into your crack in the wall, and pray that someday you will have the tools to spar with the likes of KINGS! Kings like unstable bob gable. And as such unstable bob is a KING, you, ma'am, are a QUEEN! So, BE GONE!
But wait! Thou must be of significant tuffness, since thou opening volley consisted of calling unstable bob an *******! You must be the tuffest of all cyber tuff guys!
You must be tuffer than Ken Shamrock!:
http://www.autographedtoyou.com/CelebPics/ken_shamrock1.jpg
You must have arms bigger than Greg Valentino!:
http://www.greggvalentino.net/images/homePage/seated.jpg
Bigger legs than Ronnie Coleman!:
http://i.b5z.net/i/u/230085/i/Ronnie_coleman_top_ezr.jpg
A Bigger chest than Vic Richards!:
http://www.vicrichards.com/images/consult.jpg
Or Pam Anderson!:
http://www.xxxmain.com/images/pam-anderson.jpg
You must be cooler than Fonzie!:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/9/94/Fonzie.jpg
Stronger on dirt than Mr Clean!:
http://www.baefed.com/fmd/members/clean.jpg
And faster than a garden slug!:
http://hoopermuseum.earthsci.carleton.ca/gastropoda/slug.gif
All these things MUST be true, so I am VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, SORRY if I pizzed you off in any way......NOT! HELL NO, NOT SORRY IN DA LEAST! NOPE, NOT ONE TINY BIT!!!!!!!
:kneeslap:
oh one ls1 SS
10-09-2005, 12:14 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ohh man unstable bob every time i read your rebuttle i just die laughing and i just applaud you for taking the time to put that together..im going to buy u a Diet Coke next time i see you
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