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07-28-2008, 09:00 PM
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#1
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,623
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Joke thread!!!
ok so a guy responds to a newspaper ad, the ad was a rich man promising 2 million dollars to anyone who will marry his daughter, he calls and is invited to diner...when he gets to the mansion the father is sitting at the dinner table and they sit and talk...after about an hour the father decides this man is fitting to marry his daughter...he calls a servant to go get her when the daughter walks in she is retarded...like giant water head crooked face retard.... he agrees to it for the 2 million and the father gives them the mansion as well. so after the wedding they are hanging a picture over the mantle and the husband says can you get me a hammer, so she runns down the hall "get the hammer get the hammer", comes back with a hammer, he says can you get the nails"get the nails get the nails", comes back with nails....when he swing the hammer he hits his thumb and yells ****!!!!!!! she runs down the hall screaming "GET THE BAG, GET THE BAG, GET THE BAG".
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2000 Tahoe Z71 5.7
1982 Z28 Pacecar 305
1999 S10 
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07-28-2008, 09:10 PM
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#2
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Power Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Milford NJ
Posts: 1,526
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07-28-2008, 09:51 PM
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#3
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13 Second Club
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Oceanside, New York
Posts: 557
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hmm
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1986 Pontiac TransAm
Drop in K&n, Flowmaster 80 Series, SEIZED 305
2001 Camaro SLP SS - SOLD
2010 2SS/RS Camaro
TSP LT's / !Cats / !Resonator / !Mufflers / Airraid CAI / Hurst 46% Short Throw
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07-28-2008, 09:54 PM
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#4
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Piscataway, N.J.
Posts: 1,729
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 GET THE BAG, GET THE BAG!
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1991 FORMULA 350-GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN
1 of 1,197 with L98 Option/13.79@100 mph
1994 25th ANNIVERSARY TRANS AM GT -1 of ONLY 2,000 made/ Only 128 made with a HURST 6-Speed Manual and 91 with T-Tops and Compact Disc/ K & N Filtercharger/Magnaflow Performance Muffler/Air Foil- ORIGINAL MINT Arctic White Ultra Rare SURVIVOR. DAYTONA 500 PACE CAR Decal Kit!
SOLD: 1989 Turbo T/A in 1991 it ran 12:18@115 mph
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07-28-2008, 10:02 PM
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#5
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Hawthorne NJ
Posts: 824
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bubba428
ok so a guy responds to a newspaper ad, the ad was a rich man promising 2 million dollars to anyone who will marry his daughter, he calls and is invited to diner...when he gets to the mansion the father is sitting at the dinner table and they sit and talk...after about an hour the father decides this man is fitting to marry his daughter...he calls a servant to go get her when the daughter walks in she is retarded...like giant water head crooked face retard.... he agrees to it for the 2 million and the father gives them the mansion as well. so after the wedding they are hanging a picture over the mantle and the husband says can you get me a hammer, so she runns down the hall "get the hammer get the hammer", comes back with a hammer, he says can you get the nails"get the nails get the nails", comes back with nails....when he swing the hammer he hits his thumb and yells ****!!!!!!! she runs down the hall screaming "GET THE BAG, GET THE BAG, GET THE BAG".
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Lame:
tough crowd...
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07-28-2008, 10:03 PM
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#6
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 5,623
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funny the difference betwine groups...other people i told though it was great
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2000 Tahoe Z71 5.7
1982 Z28 Pacecar 305
1999 S10
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07-28-2008, 10:14 PM
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#7
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11 second club / Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: West Berlin, NJ
Posts: 7,148
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Usually I put LOL even when I don't LOL ...... but I don't think I can find it in myself to type LOL.
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2001 Trans Am WS6 •SLP Loudmouth II •UMI Suspension •12.857 @ 109.57
1996 Trans Am WS6 •Pacesetter Longtubes •Strange 12 Bolt •Spohn Suspension •11.152 @ 123.85
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07-28-2008, 10:16 PM
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#8
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The Mayor / 2009 Member of the Year / Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Northwest
Posts: 8,869
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Quote:
Originally Posted by deadtrend1
Usually I put LOL even when I don't LOL ...... but I don't think I can find it in myself to type LOL.
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Methinks you did  ....3 times over
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1995 Z28 Convertible A4 13.78 @ 100 (CAI, high flow cat, catback, 160 thermo, hypertech, Strano springs, Koni yellows, sway bars, 3 pt. UMI SFC)
2018 Sea Doo GTX - 3 cylinders and das boooooost
Quote:
Originally Posted by BonzoHansen
Is English your 2nd language? Did you graduate high school? Your posts make my head hurt.
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 Team FARM 
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07-28-2008, 10:40 PM
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#9
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Shreveport Louisianna Barksdale AFB
Posts: 1,415
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I dont get it
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USAF Jet Propulsion Specialist
 1985 383 Camaro-nothing special I promise 
2000 NBM z28-also nothing special
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07-28-2008, 10:43 PM
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#10
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Edison
Posts: 7,856
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jersyboyy
I dont get it
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bag over her face... its lame..
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1984 Firebird
2000 Z28
2023 Tacoma
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07-28-2008, 11:39 PM
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#11
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Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Sewell, NJ
Posts: 1,044
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first off let me say that jokes and only funny if told correctly and with propper tone, expressions, pauses, etc. So its hard to tell a good joke on the internet. That being said one of my fathers all time favorites is the CIA joke. I must have heard it 30 times and I think hes mastered its presentation. I found the cleaned up, decent language one, online and ill just paste it. It works better after a few drinks and from a good story teller...enjoy
"CIA Test
Three guys are applying for job with the CIA. Ones 25, the next is 35, and the last guy is 45. They got all the way to the final test.
So the 25 year old walks into the directors office and sits down. The director reaches in his desk and pulls out a pistol. Lays it on his desk in front of the guy. Tells him, "This test is to test your loyalty. Take this gun and go up the stairs and go into the first room on your right. Your wife will be in there. Put a bullet in her head." The guy looks at him and says,"no way." So the director says, "You fail."
The 35 year old comes in. The director tells him the same thing. Guy picks up the gun and head for the room. Comes back about 15 minutes later. Tells the director that he just couldn`t go through with it. The director says, "you fail."
So now the third guy (45 year old) comes in, same scene. Guy heads up to the room. The director hears 3 shots, followed by a whole lot of ruckus (glass breaking, furniture getting smashed). Guy comes back in all beat up and his clothes tore up. The director goes, "What happened to you?" Guy replies, "After three shots I realized that there were blanks in the gun so I had to strangle the bitch to death!!"
Last edited by usp55; 07-28-2008 at 11:40 PM.
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07-29-2008, 12:26 AM
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#12
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Stalker
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 12,082
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...these types of threads are what is killing this forum....
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07-29-2008, 12:33 AM
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#13
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Shreveport Louisianna Barksdale AFB
Posts: 1,415
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That cia joke wasnt that bad ss I actually chuckled when I finished reading it.
__________________
USAF Jet Propulsion Specialist
1985 383 Camaro-nothing special I promise
2000 NBM z28-also nothing special
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07-29-2008, 07:20 AM
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#14
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Stalker
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 12,082
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true that one was ok... i mainly meant the original one
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07-29-2008, 12:51 PM
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#15
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Ebearnezer Scrooge/Power Member/Lips
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Hamilton, Mercer county
Posts: 4,141
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jersyboyy
I dont get it
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Yeah since the key word was censored I didnt get it at first, I thought it was a different.....
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07-29-2008, 06:25 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Shreveport Louisianna Barksdale AFB
Posts: 1,415
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Yea I ended up reading it on another forum and got it was still "THE GHAY"
__________________
USAF Jet Propulsion Specialist
1985 383 Camaro-nothing special I promise
2000 NBM z28-also nothing special
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07-30-2008, 07:12 AM
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#17
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Avatar Abuser
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: 08721-1716
Posts: 5,056
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those kind of jokes only work in certain atmospheres... like in a bar after everyone has had two or three beers. then you get people laughing. some jokes need to be told rather than read, and this was one of them. i don't find it particularly offensive, nor do i think anyone else will. i mean, how often are you going to be in a situation, telling a joke like that, and some guy is going to get all puffed up because his wife looks like that? or his daughter? hell, if it was his daughter, maybe you just gave him some ideas on how to get rid of her...
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