Funny Things Stupid People Say

[Stroked355Z28]

Hey guys, was just wondering how many of you witness people at your jobs or at school or wherever ever it maybe that do or say things that are mind-boggling, funny, stupid and make you wonder how dumb that person really is. I can't wait to here what everybody has to say or share, but here are just a few from my collection:

1.) Last night at my job, I'm a waiter at Carino's in the Clifton Commons, I was cleaning up my section for the night, but had to wait on this couple that made me feel like they were dining in for the last supper because they came at 8 and did not leave till 10:15. So anyway, while I was waiting for them to leave, I started running food for a few other servers because they were swamped with tables and needed help. So in the midst of doing all of that, this girl I work with is taking a table that consists of a family of 3. I'm happy I didn't leave because I'm still laughing about this today. One of the family members asked my co-worker if we have MEAT in our MEAT SAUCE???? Ha ha, how stupid can some people be. I told her she should have told them it was vegetarian and seen what they thought of that.

2.) I used to be manager of another restaurant, but only got $8.75, their way of conning me to do more work and have more responsiblity. So anyway, one Sunday, a customer comes up to me with his hamburger that he wanted rare to ask me something. I ask him if I can help him, so he responds by saying, now this is once again an example of people being completely stupid and funny. The guy asks me, if I can put his burger on the grill and make it MORE RARE?? I was speechless, I said Sir thats impossible because if I put it on the grill again, it will make it more well done and he continued to argue with me saying that restaurants have done it before. So not arguing anymore, I took the burger from him went in the back, poured the blood from the other burgers on top of it and gave it back to him. When he left, he said that was a great burger, just the way he likes it. How stupid can they be, its hilarious.

3.) Now I saved the best for my fellow gear-heads. My uncle is a mechanic in Pine Brook and has his own shop. He is 52 and has been around for it all, still has 4 of his hot rods today including his very first car that my dad gave him for his b-day, a '57 Chevy, a '53 Willys, a '67 Corvette Stingray, and a '55 F100 w/ a blown 454 in it painted black w/ flames and a chopped top. So anyway, this girl comes in there one day and tells my uncle she needs 710 for her car. My uncle had a dumbfounded look and said what is 710? She said you know 710? it says it under the hood. Now my uncle is looking under the hood and doesn't see anything that says 710, so he says can you draw it, she says yes. She draws a circle with 710 written inside. Now everybody reading this, do it. My uncle looked at it and turned it upside down, now everybody do the same, what does it say, thats right, it says OIL She had to be in the top 10 of World's Dumbest People if not #1, ha ha ha, makes me roll on the floor everytime.

Hope you all enjoyed reading those and hope you have had some of these close encounters of the stupid kind that you can share.
-Jeff.

[NJ346]

LMAO 710...that's gotta be the funniest **** I've heard in a long time.

[deadtrend1]

Originally Posted by NJNETSFAN

LMAO 710...that's gotta be the funniest **** I've heard in a long time.

http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main...f4382dbb4f790e

[Stroked355Z28]

Ha ha ha, some people are so stupid its funny.

[Knipps]

Originally Posted by deadtrend1

http://kalecoauto.com/index.php?main...f4382dbb4f790e

I bought one but when it got here I sent it back.. that jackass had the nerve to send me an OIL cap!


One of my favorites is when a woman calls a mechanic and tells her she has a problem with her ford FISO. The mechanic is dumbfounded and asks the woman to bring it to his shop. The woman pulls up in an old pick up and walks over to the mechanic explaining her problem. What was the woman driving?

[Stroked355Z28]

Let me guess Knipps, she was driving that truck Ford made back in the early 90s, it was like an F-150, but they called it a FISO, which stood for Found In Salvage Only. Ha ha, here's another one for you. When I was working at the other restaurant, these two guys came in with a U-Haul truck from Pennsylvania and asked me what state they were in? So I said nicely, you're in Jersey, and the guy said Jersey? so I said you know, New Jersey, ha ha. Then the guy said to be that New Jersey ISNT a state. I started laughing and asked him what it was then. He said New Jersey was a city in New York, ha ha. So after about 5 minutes of heated arguing, his buddy came in, so he asked his friend if New Jersey is a state and his friend responded, of course it is you dumb ***. Where do they get this information from?? makes ya think it was there first time off the farm in Pennsylvania. I was waiting for them to tell me that buffalo wings come from real buffalos, ha ha. I've got a millon of them. -Jeff.

[TheBandit]

Man now i gotta think of a bunch cause i know i have a million. Few months ago we were talking to my friends girlfriend. Somehow Russia and the Russian language gets brought up. My friends girlfriend proceeds to tell us she didn't realize that Russian was a language... just a nationality. I don't understand sometimes what goes through people's heads.

[Stroked355Z28]

Originally Posted by TheBandit

Man now i gotta think of a bunch cause i know i have a million. Few months ago we were talking to my friends girlfriend. Somehow Russia and the Russian language gets brought up. My friends girlfriend proceeds to tell us she didn't realize that Russian was a language... just a nationality. I don't understand sometimes what goes through people's heads.

Ha ha ha, keep'em coming guys, can't stop laughing.

[NastyEllEssWon]

ive had a cashier, when purchasing a ps2, say to me "HERE YOU GO, YOU CAN CARRY THIS WITH YOUR HANDS'' i replied...''ACTUALLY I PLANNED ON MAKING IT FLOAT NEXT TO ME MAGICALLY BUT YEAH I GUESS MY HANDS WILL WORK TOO''






dumb people ftw

[Fire_Chicken92]

My bf's lil sister once pointed to the manual window roller-upper and asked what it was for lmao.. shes only 8 tho..

oh n we r quizzing my friend for his written drivers test n he says a stop sign is a circle..

n another one of our friends was asking wat aisle oil was in, milan goes "next to the blinker fluid dumb***" the kid goes to the counter n asks where to find blinker fluid. *sigh*

[Fire_Chicken92]

AND on top of it, ask chrisfrom_nj... my friend (the stopsign one) asked if there was no air intake on the car woudnt it save gas cuz u arent burning as much? lol!

i think leaving the car off saves just as much!

[CHRIS67]

Two quick ones.

I was at a car show and I had a guy come up to my 67 Camaro and says, "oh man, I love your car. I had a mustang just like it."

I was giving my friends daughters a ride in my car and the oldest calls her bf who she puts on speaker phone. The conversation went like this "I'm going for a ride in my dad's freind's 67 Camaro", boyfriend "what's he have in it?", girlfriend " the two of us and he's driving".

[LS1Hawk]

I minored in English in college. In one of my classes at the beginning of the semester the prof. had everyone introduce themselves to the class. Can't remember the girl's name, but this one girl says, "Hi, I'm whoever and I'm a English major."

[2RARE84s]

Originally Posted by LS1Hawk

I minored in English in college. In one of my classes at the beginning of the semester the prof. had everyone introduce themselves to the class. Can't remember the girl's name, but this one girl says, "Hi, I'm whoever and I'm a English major."

......

[Stroked355Z28]

Originally Posted by Fire_Chicken92

My bf's lil sister once pointed to the manual window roller-upper and asked what it was for lmao.. shes only 8 tho..

oh n we r quizzing my friend for his written drivers test n he says a stop sign is a circle..

n another one of our friends was asking wat aisle oil was in, milan goes "next to the blinker fluid dumb***" the kid goes to the counter n asks where to find blinker fluid. *sigh*

Ha ha, blinker fluid, thats awesome, I heard you can find that in the Beyond section at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Chris67, I'm still lauging about the guy saying he had a mustang just like that. I've got a few more:

1.) Me and my two friends went out a couple weeks ago for one of their b-days, after the nite was pretty much over, we went to Nutley diner at 3 in the morning, no one else was in there. So I go to the bathroom and tell the waitress its my friend's b-day. When they bring the cake out, my other friend's mouth drops and he says to me, "How did they know it was his birthday??" I couldn't believe it, I was like they read minds, ha ha. I told him think about it, I must've told the waitress on the way to the bathroom.

2.) I go to WildWood every year for vacation with my family and friends, so my cousin comes in the room and asks me what I'm having for lunch. So I tell him I'm having a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich, so he responds by saying and he was not joking, "What do you put on that?" I said its a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich, he didn't get it for about 5 minutes. Ha ha, thats my own family.

3.) Me and my friend were filling out applications one time. So when it got to the part where it says Sex and your are supposed to respond Male or Female, my friend wrote down, "No, but hope to do it soon". Ha ha, I think I cried laughing at that.

4.) When I bought my camaro, I brought to a car show, so my friend and his girlfriend tagged along. I opened the hood of my car, and my friend's girlfriend looks at the round air cleaner w/ the air filter and asks me "If that is a spare tire" Ha ha, I asked her if she was joking and she really thought that was a spare tire. Then my friend stopped holding her hand and pretended like he didn't know her because 3 other people were around looking at my motor. Ha ha ha.

I live to laugh at these moments.

[CHRIS67]

Originally Posted by Stroked355Z28

4.) When I bought my camaro, I brought to a car show, so my friend and his girlfriend tagged along. I opened the hood of my car, and my friend's girlfriend looks at the round air cleaner w/ the air filter and asks me "If that is a spare tire" Ha ha, I asked her if she was joking and she really thought that was a spare tire. Then my friend stopped holding her hand and pretended like he didn't know her because 3 other people were around looking at my motor. Ha ha ha.

I live to laugh at these moments.

Lots of air flowing through that spare tire.

[Fire_Chicken92]

Originally Posted by CHRIS67

Lots of air flowing through that spare tire.

and thru that girl's head obviously.. lol

Alright I have some family ones..

My bro was dating this girl and my family used to be big on uno.. so one night he brings her home and they are playng uno w my parents and another couple. its her turn to deal. kno how you are supposed to deal clockwise or whatever? she is dealing the other way, so my dad says to her "hey you are dealing the cards backwards" and she looks at them a sec, goes "oh." and turns the deck of cards around and keeps dealing in the same direction.

And one more, something I did, but I was little lol

My brother is 21 years older than me. He told me this story, IDK how old I was, maybe 3 or 4.. My brother used to be the kind to get around a lot with girls. he brought a girl home every weekend. so he has one home and theyre at the kitchen table and i run up to my dad and ask him "how come my brother has a different girl here every weekend?" lmao never saw her again.....

[2RARE84s]

Originally Posted by Fire_Chicken92

My brother is 21 years older than me. He told me this story, IDK how old I was, maybe 3 or 4.. My brother used to be the kind to get around a lot with girls. he brought a girl home every weekend. so he has one home and theyre at the kitchen table and i run up to my dad and ask him "how come my brother has a different girl here every weekend?" lmao never saw her again.....

C0CK BLOCKER from the start!....

[Fire_Chicken92]

lol

[Stroked355Z28]

Ha ha, when I was in WildWood, I went in the ocean w/ my aunt and little cousin, I'm going to be 20 Sept.30th. So I see a few girls that are clearly around my age, so they are looking at me and I go over to start talking to them and what does my aunt say. "You are too old for them." So they just looked at me funny and walked away. Ha ha, I wanted to put her head under the water, I was so pissed off, I never go in the ocean w/ my aunt anymore. -Jeff.

[Fire_Chicken92]

I'm 19 the 29th! =D

[sweetbmxrider]

710 thats effing great!!!!

we have an air hose at my shop for people to use. we leave it outside and there is a sign that says air hose. there is a garden hose wrapped up in the corner of the lot about 20 feet from the air hose. some lady picked it up with a sprinkler end on it and asked if it was the air hose. i just cringed.

[Stroked355Z28]

Originally Posted by sweetbmxrider

710 thats effing great!!!!

we have an air hose at my shop for people to use. we leave it outside and there is a sign that says air hose. there is a garden hose wrapped up in the corner of the lot about 20 feet from the air hose. some lady picked it up with a sprinkler end on it and asked if it was the air hose. i just cringed.

Ha ha, thats awesome, too bad she didn't turn it on and spray herself in the face, somebody should have told her it was the air hose, would have loved to seen what happened.

[Stroked355Z28]

Originally Posted by Fire_Chicken92

I'm 19 the 29th! =D

Ha ha, a year and a day apart, we should party together for both of our b-days. -Jeff.

[sweetbmxrider]

hahaha 20 gallons of water in her tire. why doesn't the car thing go no fast now and shakes not good help